Blended Jokes - 10 Hilarious Blended Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I blended a little Viagra and some penis enlargement medication into my eyedrops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?

A McFurry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On this, the second anniversary of becoming a Redditor, I've decided to repost one of my OWN jokes!

As an experiment, I blended some penis enlargement medication with some Viagra and then added that into my eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

What’s a cannibal’s favorite smoothie?

A blended family

I thought by now you'd realise

A taxidermist and his apprentice are working late into the night to get their big project done - a full size lion on a purpose built stand. This once-mighty big cat had been killed in a fight with another lion, and was being fixed up for display at a natural history museum. The taxidermist had skill...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1859, there was this German Chemist living in London, England.

One day he received a new batch of experimental powder from Columbia. Curious to find out what the substance was, he opened the package and it erupted in a puff of powder. After inhaling half the cloud the Chemist felt vibrant, energised and happy.

“I hast not seen ziss beefore”, thought t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a store in Spain that sells exquisite handmade writing instruments.

This store has all kinds of bespoke fountain pens and rollerball pens and even ball point pens. There are pens made of fine hard woods and precious metals inlaid with all kinds of gems. These pens are all handmade by artisans who have been in the business for generations.

But what really sets...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.

Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blended Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

drill sergeant

There once was a private in the army who was in the middle of a training drill for stealth and disguise. He was all painted like a tree and blended in perfectly. The drill sergeant was walking through the forest trying to find this private, when all of a sudden the private flinched. The drill sergea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] An ex-CIA operative named Arti had a younger sister always getting into mischief...

Arti's sister was beautiful, you see. She would use her looks to get things she wanted, but when she got in over her head, she'd always fall back on big brother Arti's special set of skills to help her out. And since he retired early (after becoming partially disabled saving the President's life fro...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.