UPJOKE
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What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

What's the worst combination of diseases you can have?

Alzheimer's and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, especially when you can't remember why you're running.

I've Been Getting Into A Kinky Combination Of Sadism, Bestiality, And Necrophilia.

But, maybe I'm just beating a dead horse.

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Life Lessons in the Outback

Bruce has been lost in the Australian Outback for three days and the combination of heat, exhaustion and thirst is close to killing him.

Unable to take another step, he collapses face first in the dirt, ready to meet his maker.

Unexpectedly he wakes to find himself staring into the fac...

pie

In Jamaica you can buy a steak and kidney pie for $1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for $1.60 and an apple pie for $2.15.



In St Kitts and Nevis, a steak and kidney pie will cost you $2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is $1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for $1.95.



...

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

Marijuana and coffee are my favorite combination.

They're the reason ice mocha lot of weed

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A woman had five dogs. Her husband was sick of all the dogs.

He went away on a business trip, but before he left he put his foot down. No more dogs!

But the woman couldn't control herself when she saw a dog she just had to have.

"Well," she thought, "I'll just call him up and pretend I'm confessing to some infidelity or something. He'll be so re...

You Know You're A Northneck (Northern Redneck) If......

Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.

You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.

You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.

(You're re...

What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?

A battering R.A.M.

They say “cellar door” is the prettiest combination of words in the English language,

Unless you live in Boston.

What is the worst combination of 2 diseases simultaneously?

Diarrhea and Alzheimer's. You’re running, but you don’t know where to!

The ring leader hired the best safe cracker for their bank job...

In criminal circles he was known to crack any safe and the police never caught him. When the day of the heist came, they entered the bank, secured the building, corralled the hostages in the bank managers office and the safe cracker proceeded to the locked vault.

After a few quick inspection...

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I just patented my new combination aphrodisiac and stool softener!

SexLax: "Easy come, easy go!"

Wow! A sort-by-new gold! I'm honoured!

I don't get why people say rubik's cubes are so hard. There's literally only one combination

Yes, I'm colorblind. Why are y'all asking?

A few partners and myself are planning to open a combination chiropractic office and marijuana dispensary.

It's going to be a joint joint joint joint joint.

If the combination of binary digits were called a bit

Then would the combination of ternary digits be called a tit?

Which keystroke combination beat all the rest in the shortcut contest?

the Win + R

Did you know in Amsterdam there's a combination brothel and mechanic shop?

Apparently, they do a two-for-one on rimjobs.

TIL College football is actually a combination of two American pastimes

Coercive land grabbing, and exploiting unpaid black labor

I'm starting a combination Frozen Yogurt shop and news stand..

It will be called Froyo Information.

Someone keeps taking my task manager combination keys off my keyboards.

I’ve lost all control, and I have no alternative but to delete this horrible joke.

What does an Egyptian mathematician use to denote the possible combinations of game moves?

Set theory.

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I looked up a list of finger combinations used for masturbation.

Numbers 1 3 & 4 will shock you.

I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course

I thought it was a good idea, but the reviews said the experience was sub-par

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Secret combination of ingredients for homemade Viagra discovered

Add 2 parts MiracleGro to 1 part Fix-A-Flat

TIL the word "Muppet" is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet".

It's like how the word "mobster" is a combination of "man" and "lobster".

Joke about a Pole in a swearing competition

A contest was set up. By who? Nobody knows.


But, the general gist was this - whoever can maintain the longest flow of cursewords wins... something.


And so, a Britton, a Frenchman, a Russian and a Pole get into the finals. Each have their own booths to psyche up and prepare for ...

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