A young couple got tired of the cold weather and decided to take a trip down to Florida.

But because their work schedules didn't work together, it was decided that the husband would fly down first, with the wife following the next day. When the husband arrived in Florida, he decided to send an email to his wife, but unknowingly sent it to the wrong email. Meanwhile, in a different town,...

I traveled about 3 mph to work this morning because of this cold weather.

I went through parking lots, hopped curbs, slid across side walks and roads. It was exciting. I should walk to work more often.

Whis is R. Kelly excited by all this cold weather?

He kept hearing it was gonna be in the teens

Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather?

Hail.. seizure

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Lottery win!

A woman is at home when her husband suddenly bursts in excitedly through the front doors and says "Get ready to pack your bags honey... I just won big in the lottery"!
"Oh my God" she exclaims..."should I pack for warm weather or cold weather"?
"I don't know" he says "just get the fuck out"!

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.

One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns...

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I won the lottery yesterday.

I ran into my house and yelled to my wife “PACK YOUR BAGS, I WON THE LOTTERY!” She screams “OMG, should I pack for warm or cold weather?????” I yelled back “ I DONT CARE, JUST GET THE FUCK OUT”

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Bra Inventor

A scientist has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.



"Women need not worry, we have killed that bastard"

Wife won a lottery

Wife, cheering happily, decided to go to a trip and called: "Honey! Start packing!"

Husband: "For the hot or cold weather?"

Wife: "I don't care, just begone when I get back!"

An amputee is taking part in a discussion on the effectiveness of gloves

On one hand, they are good for cold weather.

On the other, they don't really help.

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It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

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A woman bursts into her man's room, holding a ticket...

She yell's "I just won 15 million dollars in the powerball Harold! Pack your bags!"
The husband jumps out of his seat "Oh my god! Should I pack for Hot or Cold weather!?"
The wife replies "I don't give a fuck just get the hell out!"

Winning lotto

A man comes home and yells joyfully: “Honey I won the Lotto! Pack your things for a nice big vacation!”
-
She asks: “Awesome! Should I pack for warm or cold weather?”
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Man beams: “I don’t care. Just be on your way already!”

A man wins the lottery..

And comes home and says to his wife, "Hey I won the lottery! Pack your bags!"

And his wife replies, "That's great! Should I pack for warm weather or cold weather?

The man replies, "I don't care, just get the hell out!"

Beggars are like mosquitos...

You hope for cold weather, so they will stop bothering you.

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A scientist from Texas A&M

A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.


After a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside...

So, I hit the lottery for two million dollars.....

The first thing I did was to call my wife. I tell her I hit the lottery for two million dollars, pack your bags. She asks me "should I pack for cold weather or warm".
I told her that I didn't care, just be out by the time I get home.

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

So these two guys from Saskatoon decide to escape the cold weather in winter and take a vacation. They go to Australia.

Sitting in a bar down under, still wearing their touques and flannels they draw the attention of Aussies, so one gets up and approaches them.

"G'DAY mates, where you ...

An Irish travel agent gives advice

So there is this Irish Travel Agent and he always tries to get people to go to and visit Ireland, this old woman asks him where she should go visit..so he starts talking about how great Ireland is and the lady says back, well " I don't like cold weather, the constant rain, and all the Catholics ther...

B.C.

A rather old fashioned lady, was planning a couple of weeks vacation in Florida. She also was quite delicate and elegant with her language. She wrote a letter to a particular campground and asked for reservations. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn’t know quite how to...

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