Climate change is such a joke

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With climate change, income inequality, racism, xenophobia, religious extremists, war, and famine all around us, I often wonder what the world is coming to.

Then I check PornHub.

Turns out it’s stepsisters.

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist...

We would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change

Every time she comes on the TV approximately 1 million people switch it off

Climate change is getting on the news alot more nowadays.

You could say its a hot topic worldwide.

How many U.S. politicians does it take the solve climate change?

Trick question: U.S. politicians can't solve anything.

A vegan, climate change activist and an MMA fighter all walk into a bar

How do I know this? Because NONE of them can stop telling me about it.

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

My friend asked, “Aren’t you concerned Florida will be submerged from climate change?”

I replied, I thought that’s what we were all trying to do, then we’ll stop.

I used to not believe in climate change

But around October I started supporting global warming

Did you hear about the ecoterrorist who tried to start another ice age to combat climate change?

They charged him with crimes against humidity.

What motivates teens to protest climate change?

They're doing it for the Greta good.

I don’t get it. What’s the problem with climate change, ice bergs melting and the sea level rising?

I mean the excess water just flows down the edge of the Earth.

What do you call a computer program that writes a blues song about climate change?

An Al-Gore-rhythm!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do orgies and climate change have in common?

Everyone's fucked.

A scientist told me my climate change denial was wrong, citing the horrific brush fires we see wiping out swathes of vegetation all over the world.

I told him they were just plants.

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Argument With A Climate Change Denier

The denier goes, “How can global warming be real if it’s 20 degrees here?”

I say to him, “Saying Climate Change isn’t real because it’s cold where you live is like saying smart people don’t exist because you’re a fucking idiot!”

Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

Trump Keeps claiming that climate change is a hoax and that his administration has done the most for global warming, and that the USA is getting colder

But that’s because he doesn’t understand what the media means when they say:

“Donald Trump is the most **Polarizing** President America has had since Nixon.”

The time to fight against climate change is upon us, and this sub is setting fantastic examples.

Everything here is recycled anyway...

How do you persuade Trump to believe climate change is happening?

You tell him Obama didn't care about it.

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

Science: cowfarts cause climate change. Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Science: cowfarts cause climate change.

Vegetarians: I'll have what the cows are eating.

Donald Trump doesn't believe in the eventual flooding of the coasts due to climate change

apparently he doesn't think America can sink any lower either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pedophiles and climate change deniers have in common? [NSFW]

They both enjoy fucking the next generation.

I haven't always believed in climate change

But I'm warming up to the theory.

Hey, why are they called "Generation Z" anyway?

Because they'll be the last ones left if we do nothing about climate change.

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

What's the difference between climate change and obesity?

One's a worldwide problem.

The other's a wideworld problem.

We should let the redditors with the highest karma fight climate change...

After all, they're just so good at recycling.

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Anyone who believes in climate change just believes whatever someone tells them to. They don't think for themselves.

I know that because Alex Jones told me so

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you solve climate change?

Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Nazi Germany prove climate change is real?

They made it snow in the summer

A Republican politician prays to God to stop climate change...

Nearly all of the world's scientists present the politician with data about the causes and potentially disastrous effects of climate change.

Ignoring them, the politician prays, "Dear Lord, please help us with this climate change problem!"

Captains of industry present the politician wi...

Trump's Presidency is like climate change

Every day it gets worse and Republicans try to deny it.

How can we get Republicans to care about climate change?

Blame it on the poor.

How many climate change deniers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What are you talking about? The bulb is fine.

Beach Boys: If everybody had an ocean across the USA, then everybody'd be surfin’ like California.

Climate change scientist: You're missing the point, Boys.

Why did the weatherman blush?

He saw the climate change

Trump is a genius

Bringing back the cold war to combat climate change.

Truly a man of the ages.

Trump wants to buy Greenland

Trump wants to buy Greenland. That way when climate change removes the last bit of snow from the area, he can proclaim that he achieved what no one else in history could. He made Greenland, green again.

I think we can get Republicans on board with climate change initiatives if we just focus on consequences that mean something to them.

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south.  They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know th...

Remember when glaciers were cool?

That's all. What's a good follow up? It's a climate change joke. Idk.

Two friends were walking down the street when it started raining coins

One of them told the other, "It's climate change".

There once was a man who was cursed to explain everything he said.

Due to this he never really talked much until one day when he signed up to talk in a debate about climate change. When it came his turn he began to speak and of course everyone noticed his speech impediment right away. A member of the opposing view interrupted him and asked “what are you doing?” The...

Trump summons all his top aides to his office one day

He declares "This is a national emergency! Someone find me my important papers!'
The Secretary of Defense pulls out an urgent report on North Korea. "No not those you moron!"
The CIA director hands him evidence of an upcoming terrorist plot. He rips it in half and yells "No! You're fired!"
...

A Democrat wakes up after being in a year-long coma...

...and immediately calls the doctor over to his hospital bed.

"Doctor, I need to know; who won the election? Was it Sanders? Clinton?"

The doctor shakes her head. "Let me put it this way: there's good news and there's bad news."

"What's the bad news?" the Democrat asks.

"...

Americans want change? They're going to get change...

Climate change, pocket change...

ḱley (Proto-Indo-European)-> κλίμα, κλίνω (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate

Climate change is man-made.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friday Update - Jokes for the week of 3/16-3/22

A new study shows sugary drinks cause over 180k deaths a year, only 4 of which are from being crushed by a soda machine. I like those odds!

Japan has created a remote controlled mobile toilet, because sometimes you just gotta go.

A North Korean spokesman has said that its nuclear arms ...

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