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Castles Jokes

My favourite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather

Until my mother took the urn from me

A Woman walks in the forest and meets a genie.

A woman one day takes a hike around the forest by her house, to take some time off from people.

She stumbles upon a teapot, grabs it, and (obviously) rubs it. A Genie appears:

"Hello lady, you've released me from my trap. Now I shall grant you 3 wishes, but theres a catch. Whatever I g...

I have a phobia of bouncy castles.

It always make me jump

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles...

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles, but I've heard that the IRS doesn't like it when you inflate your assets.

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles.

One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood. The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs.



He says, “See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people.”



The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, “See that castle o...

the neurotic builds castles in the air, the psychotic lives in them,

and the psychiatrist collects the rent.

I design castles. AMA!

For this AMA, I'd like to focus on rampart.

Sand Castle with Grandma

Today, I made sand castles with my grandma, but for some reason, everybody freaked out and called the cops on me.



Next time, I'll do it away from the cremation center.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the guy who made Dragons Fucking Cars pick cars instead of castles?

They're impenetrable

How do princes and princesses rent castles?

Heirbnb.

I hate having to shop for jeans as a guy. They're all made like cheap castles.

There's no ballroom!




Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen it posted to r/jokes before. I only just heard it yesterday from a coworker who claims her grandfather made it up. I thought you lot might like it!

What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?

Norman Rock Wells.

An 80 year old man went to buy some clothes. He tried some modern tight dresses and when asked for a feedback, he told "These are like cheaply made castles."

No ball room

A calligrapher died peacefully in his sleep.

He soon woke up in a land of paradise. He spent the next few days exploring. Heaven was exactly as he imagined—pristine rolling hills, golden castles upon cloud tops, reunions with lost loved ones, and endless opportunities to explore one's hobbies. He had access to the finest selection of inks and ...

"Think before you jump," I said, my palms sweating. "It might not be the right decision..."

"You take bouncy castles too seriously," my son replied.

If lawyers are disbarred and priests are defrocked, then...

Electricians are delighted

Corpses are decrypted

Cowboys are deranged

Models are deposed

Underwear models are debriefed

Dry cleaners are depressed, decreased and depleted

Jilted women are debrided

HVAC technicians are deducted

Tennis linemen ar...

Spending time with grandpa got me in trouble.

Well. Today was a nice day until it wasnt.

I got up early and went out to spend some time with my grandfather. I had the greatest idea ever actually! So anyway I stink at writing details so I will get to the point. I was making sand castles with my grandpa and got kicked out by everyone at t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

REAL MEN

Three guys talk in a bar. Two discuss how they are kings in their castles and how much their wives respect them. The third guy remains quiet.

Finally, one guy turns to the quiet guy and asks, "What about you? Do you rule your roost?"

The quiet guy says, "Well, just the other night, my ...

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