The Battle of Three Kingdoms

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night...

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Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

A roll of duct tape walks into a bar. Bartender, polishing up a glass, asks politely: “What can I get you?”

The duct tape looks around, thinks for a moment and says, “I think I’ll just stick to my usual.”

What's the feeling you get after polishing a peanut?

Post nut clarity.

A western guy gets a job polishing statues in a natural history museum in India

Before he starts working, some locals warn him of the last man who did this job. "Ve should inform you that the insect exhibit is cursed and the poor man's kid vound up dead after he vas seen cleaning here."

The guy says to them, "sounds like a bunch of superstitious nonsense!" and proceeds t...

Left my wife polishing my chainmail while I went to the pub

She said she wanted a night in, shining armour

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice, but he can’t tell where it’s coming from.

"Hey, mister! I like your tie!" it says.

He looks around, but he doesn’t see anything, and decides to shrug it off. After a little bit, he takes anot...

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Polishing my shoes

I was walking downtown when I saw a black man carrying a tv set, and it looked just like mine. So I ran back home and to my relief mine was still there polishing my shoes.

A State Government Employee sits in his office, and out of boredom decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice-cold diet Pepsi right now!" POOF! A Pepsi appears before him ...

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