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So I bought a burglar alarm.

Now my burglar has no excuse to oversleep.

Happy Hanukkah! Here's a Hanukkah joke:

**Q:** What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot?

**A:** Whoa, a talking menorah.

**Q:** Which hand is best to light the menorah with?

**A:** Neither, it's best to light it with a candle.

**Q:** What is the best H...
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