UPJOKE
stallkioskroomcubicletablestandstoreshoptelephone boothpolling boothtelephone boxtelephone kioskwindowhallbox

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Position #189 "The John Wilkes Booth" (NSFW)

You blow a load on the back of someone's head in a movie theater and try to escape before you get caught.

An old man sits down in the confessional booth at his local church

and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned”.

The priest says, “Tell me of your sins, my son.”

The old man says, “Well, Father, I’m 90 years old; I’ve been married to my wife for 70 years, and in all that time I’ve always been faithful…. But last night, I made love to two beautifu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A catholic priest goes on vacation and asks the janitor to run the confessional booth.

J- “ I don’t know how to run the booth though!”

P- “ It is very easy. Just listen to the people’s sins and refer to the chart of sins on the wall. The chart will say how many Hail Marys the sinner must say for it to be forgiven”

The janitor agrees and begins his shift the next day. Th...

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.

PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.

ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.

PRIEST: You forgot pride.

ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

A man barged into a confessional booth

He sits down and says “father I need to tell you, last night I was at the bar drinking when a gorgeous woman approached me and we started talking. After flirting together for awhile she asked if I would come back to her place”
“Go on” said the priest.
“Well, as we were leaving she ran into he...

An old man sees a booth for helicopter rides for $50 at the county fair.

He says to his wife, “I’m getting up there in age, and I’ve always wanted to ride in a helicopter.”

His wife says, “absolutely not. 50 bucks is 50 bucks. You don’t need to ride in a helicopter.”

The next year at the fair, he sees the helicopter booth again and he asks again. The conver...

[NSFW]What do John Wilkes Booth and Pee-Wee Herman have in common?

They both shot someone in the back of the head in a theater.

In all seriousness, godspeed, you lovable oddball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a confessional booth...

A man walks into a confessional booth and says "Father Forgive me for I have sinned."

The Priest: What is your sin my child?

The Man: Three days ago my mother-in-law was helping me move some stuff around and it started to rain so she stayed the night there. We slept together.

Th...

A man walks into a psychic’s booth…

“Can I help you?” the psychic asks. To which the man replies,

“I guess not.”

The Amish man and the Toll Booth (as told by Myron Cohen)

An Amish man is driving his horse-drawn cart when he gets to a toll road. The toll keeper says "That will be $10 please."


The Amish man says, "I thought that was only for motor vehicles."


"No," says the toll keeper. "All vehicles, no exceptions."


So the Amish...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Catholic priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed. “Very well, my child,” says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, “Tell me about your sins"

“Well, Father,” says the guy, “On Monday, I was at my girlfriend’s house, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned, Father.”
“Don’t worry, child,” says the priest, “It’s perfectly normal to have such desires and share them with your partner.Nothing serious, just say two prayer...

A man meets his Tinder date at a carnival.

"There's so many games!" he said, "What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna get weighed." she says, shyly looking at the ground.

They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal.

"What next?" he asks.

"I wanna get weighed." she says, confidently looking at him....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into church and sits in the confessional booth.

The priest sits down and the man says, "Forgive me for I have sinned. I was golfing yesterday and I cursed."

The priest replies, "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"Well," the guy says. "I was out on the seventh hole, and I'd just hit my best drive of the day. Straight ahead, d...

I farted in my church’s confession booth

I said to the priest, “Forgive me father, for I have wind.”

Have you guys scene the new john Wilkes booth movie?

I’ve heard it’s mind blowing.

There was an accident at the toll booth

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and plowed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces.

Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating.

He said “Sure, if it bothers you, I’ll stop.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I saw a man in a suit, jump into a phone booth and then Superman jump out. I’d be like “Holy shit!”

A fucking phone booth!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage girl was at a catholic confession booth...

Verry embarrased, she admitted that she had gotten a bit too frisky with her boyfriend the night before.

Now, the priest was relatively new to this position in the church, and didnt know how to correctly assign penance for her actions, so he told her he needed to pray for a minute to hear wha...

I got a voting booth to decorate my house today

it really polls the room together

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boyfriend and girlfriend go into a restaurant and sit down in a booth. There is a man sitting at the bar, checking the woman out, up and down.

As the boyfriend gets up to go to the bathroom,
the man walks over the the girlfriend, sits down
right across from her and looks her right in the
eyes. Without blinking he says, "I want to suck
your nipples raw, and fill your pussy up with
Tequila, and sip it out with a straw." Need...

My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers..

He was a con-tent creator.

A man was in the confession booth confessing his sins to the priest…

And he said “father, I must confess, I almost cheated on my wife.”

The priest said “What do you mean, you *almost* cheated on your wife?”

The man explained, “father, I was in bed with another woman, we got naked together but I we only rubbed against each other, I didn’t actually put i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A toothbrush salesman had a booth on a street corner.

One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. The salesman, skeptical of this random person’s sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job.

At the end of the day the man approached him saying “I’ve sold all 100 toothbrush, can ...

Suicide booths are 50% off

Its a deal to die for.

A priest is working in the confessional booth

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery w...

A man goes into a confession booth in Germany...

He says "Please forgive me father for I have sinned."
The priest responded, "What is your sin my child?"
The man replies "During WWII I took in a Jewish man and hid him in my attic."
The priest then exclaims, "Good sir, that is not a sin at all. That was a righteous burden you took upon ...

Drunk in confession booth.

A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no pape...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes it is.”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball.”
Man: ‟That's nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?”
Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happ...

So Abraham Lincoln and James Booth walk into a bar.

Booth (a mathematician) tells Lincoln, we’ve been coming here to speed date for 5 years now and only picked up an average of 2.857 lady friends. Lincoln thinks for a moment and replies, well, at that pace, we will have four scores in seven years....

Confession booth

A man sat in the confession booth in church and said : “Forgive me, my Father, for I have sinned !”
“What have you done my son ?” The priest asked.
“I had a Promiscuous dream !! I dreamt that I the touched the breast of Kim...”
Silence prevailed for a moment, followed by the noise of the pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a confession booth

Man: “I need to tell you something father, I slept with a gorgeous blonde last night. We are not married.”

- The priest can tell the man is holding back.

Priest: “is there anything else you would like to confess my son?”

Man: Ok father, I can’t hide it, I slept with two beautifu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild:

The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild:
Since he was a chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Never...

John Wilkes Booth

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theatre."


Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

I went to church, and sat in the confession booth

I went to church, and sat in the confession booth, and I said “Forgive me father, for I have sinned”

The priest said “Tell me of your sins, child”

So I said, “Well father, last week, I molested a child and was fired from my job.”

Long story short, my employment situation just go...

A magician walks up to a fisherman's booth.

The magician pulls a quarter from the fisherman's ear. The fisherman looks at the magician annoyed. The magician says can you do any better? The fisherman says sure and then pauses. The magician says annoyed "How are you going to start the trick. The fisherman just says... Pick a cod, any cod!

What do you call a hippopotamus in a phone booth?

Stuck.

A man goes into a restaurant. He has a seat at a booth and opens a menu to find out that none of the foods have prices next to them.

He asks the waiter, “How much is the Fettuccine Alfredo?”

The waiter says, “A penny.”

The man exclaims, “A penny? How much for a steak?”

The waiter says, “A nickel.” The man is astonished.

“Are you serious? Where’s the man who owns this place? I’d like to shake his hand!”...

A man walks into a confession booth

and says, "I have sinned."

"What did you do?", the priest asked.

"I killed someone."

"Take a drink out of the holy cup, and you will be forgiven."

A woman walks into the confession booth and says, "I have sinned."

"What did you do?", the priest asked.

"I sto...

A man is driving down the road when he sees a Native American in a booth that says "Chief Remembers All"

So the guy pulls over and says "So, you really remember all?" And the indian says "How, stranger. Yes, I remember all" So the guy says "Ok, what did you eat for breakfast 10 years ago?"

The indian contemplates for a second, and confidently says "Eggs" so the guy says "Oh sure...How do I know ...

A man bursts into a confession booth

"Father!" he cries, hardly able to breathe. "For the last month I have been having daily orgies with just me and 5 women from my street. Two of the women are a twins"

"My child, this is wanton. I can absolve you but once this has stopped"

"There has been much sodomy Father. Every depra...

3 strings walk into a bar and sit down at a booth.

The first string goes up to the bar and asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender says “We don’t serve strings here, you should leave.”

The string goes back to his buddies and tells them the bad news. The second string is furious, and approaches the bar, and demands 3 beers with his money...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voting booths are like brothels

You have to decide which ass you want.

A lady goes into a confessional booth and sits down.

The priest says, "Bless you sister, please tell me your sins."

The lady says, "Oh, Father, I'm not here to confess. I just wanted to let you know that I'm a vegan."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The husband leans over and asks his wife "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?

We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a cr...

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Lisa, one of the regulars at church enters the confession booth to confess her sins.

Lisa:"Forgive me father, for I have sinned"

Priest: "Don't worry my child. Tell me what happend."

Lisa: "Two days ago I met a guy"

Priest: "And?"

Lisa: "He was very sweet and such a gentleman..*

Priest: "So?"

Lisa: "Well we kissed and he started to touch me...

There are two booths set up at a Trump rally.

Someone asks "why isn't anyone lined up at this booth?"

"It's a kissing booth."

"Why's everyone over at the other booth?"

"That's the punch line."

A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...

A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"

The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"

The cat says, "Mao."

The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.

The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should...

A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: “What’s your blood group?”

The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."

What do John wilkes booth, lee harvey oswald and kobe bryant have in common?

They never miss a shot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind man is sitting down at a booth in a carnival,

A blind man is sitting down at a booth in a carnival, with a small tent and a sign. The sign reads:


"Weight guesser! You win 500$ if im wrong, I win 5$ if im right!"


A woman, intrigued, walks over and says to the man:


"Alright, sign me up! Are you really blind?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started working at a Watermelon street market booth.

My first customer was I guy really big. Seriously built, kind of like The Rock but taller.

He asks:

\_How much for the watermelon?

\_ 8 dollars.

\_ Okay, I want half. Here's $4.

\_Sir, we only sell entire watermelons. For 8 bucks.

\_ I am telling you tha...

What did the Spanish musician say after they left the sound booth?

Audios

What does a corpse and a phone-booth have in common?

I don't need permission to come inside either.

A young man goes into a confessional booth and confesses to the priest that he used the Lord's name in vain.

"Tell me what happened my child, so we may begin the path of forgiveness." Said the priest behind the curtain.

"I was golfing," began the man. "And my first shot went deep into the rough."

"Ah, and that is where you misused the Lord's name is it?" Replied the priest.

"No father,...

In the confessional booth

I told the priest i had committed the grevious sin of fornication. My girlfriend, a staunch catholic, made me confess though i knew little of the faith. I told the priest i was sorry and that I had made an act of contrition.

"Was it perfect?" The priest inquired?

Not knowing what per...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farm boy took his pet duck and got in his pickup to go to the movin’ picture show in town.

He walked up to the ticket booth with his duck under his arm to buy a ticket, but the girl said, “sir, you can’t bring that bird in here”.

The country boy tries to explain ’bout how the duck is a housebroken pet, but the girl says, “SIR, I’m sorry but you can’t bring that animal into the thea...

What do you call a sad cantaloupe in a telephone booth?

Melon call ya

What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth?

Don't copy Michelle on this one.

What do John Wilkes Booth and Taylor Swift have in common?

they both know how to get a crowd going

An american fellow visiting at an English bar notices two attractive women with thick Irish accents sitting at the booth next to him....

out of curiousity, He approaches them and asks "Excuse me, are you two ladies from England?
One of the women gets mad and yellls "ITS WALES, YOU IDIOT!!!"

So after a Deep shock.... the gentleman responds "Excuse Me, are you two Whales from England"?

A Rabbi in the Confessional Booth

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little ...

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me, you’ve been on the phone..

...for 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.

Man inside: “I am talking to my wife!”

What did snow white say when she came out of the photo booth?

Some day my prints will come...

Why does John Wilkes Booth get all the best acting jobs?

He has all the best headshots.

(Credit to my friend Isabella)

Why did a time traveller kill John Wilks Booth?

Because he was trying to kill the precedent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is in the confession booth...

A priest is in the confession booth listening to people confess their sins, when suddenly he feels the urge to drop a Deuteronomy. He knew right away that this was going to be a bowel movement of biblical proportions, and sweared to God that he would never eat Devil's food cake again. He opened the ...

My voting machine broke in my voting booth today...

I guess you could say it had electile dysfunction.

A priest is in a confession booth.

He gets done with his current confessor and he looks out into the church and sees a bunch of people in line. He has to go to a funeral soon and he goes next door to the supermarket.

He asks the cashier who he has know for years and the priest asks if the cashier can take over. The cashier at ...

What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events?

ICandy

A mathematician goes to a confession booth...

He says to the priest: 'Father, I have a sin to confess'

The priest says: 'Don't worry, tell me and the lord will see if he can forgive you'

The mathematician says: 'I used the opposite side instead of the adjacent to calculate cos.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a public toilet and found it was empty

I went into a booth and sat down on the seat. Just then I heard someone come in and get into the booth next to me. I coughed to let them know I was in the booth next to him. He said "Hello". I was surprised but didn't say anything. He said Hello again. This time I said "hey." He asked "how are you?"...

What’s the difference between Abraham Lincoln’s killer and where Keanu Reeves sits at a restaurant?

One is John Wilkes Booth, and the other is John Wick’s booth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman cheats on her husband

A woman is cheating on her husband and her husband comes home early. In a panic her lover hides in the closet. While hiding in the closet he hears a voice "Sure is dark in here."

The man panics and turns and finds a little boy. "What're you doing in here?"

"I like hiding, what were you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigar...

Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth?

Because he had a javelin through his head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The new priest and the confessional booth.

A newly ordained priest is about to do his first stint in the confessional booth. A bit nervous, he asks the bishop for some advice and guidance.

"Son", says the bishop, "here, take this book, I've listed all the common sins and their penance so don't be nervous at all".

Armed with th...

Where does a troll live?

In a troll booth!

A gorilla walks into a restaurant.

He sits down at a booth and a waitress comes over to take his order. He orders an ice cream sundae. The waitress goes back into the kitchen, gets him an ice cream sundae and takes it to his table. The gorilla eats the sundae and then motions to the waitress for the bill. The waitress comes over, giv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bless me father for I have sinned

A man walks into a confession booth.

He says, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."

The priest there says to him, "Speak my child."

The man says, "Well father I lived in Hamburg during the Second World War. The Gestapo was searching for Jews to send to concentration camps, an...

I got stabbed at the flea market.

I thought it would be fun to take my son to the flea market to see the wide array of commodities being sold.

"Oh, look! There's an ice cream man!" My boy exclaimed. So we walked up to the ice cream booth and I said: "Hey there ice cream man!". And then we ordered a couple cones.

Next...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A custodian fills in for a priest

A custodian is cleaning at the church where he works, suddenly a priest frantically approaches him

"son, i need you to do me a favor! I have a golf game I must go to but there's a woman who just came in for confession. I need you to go into the confession booth, listen to this woma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest asks a custodian to watch the confessional booth while he takes a piss..

While the custodian is quietly waiting, a beautiful, long-legged blonde walks into the booth. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned it has been 1 month since my last confession, and I have given a blowjob!" The janitor isn't sure what the priest would tell her to do so he pops his head out t...

A guy takes his date to the carnival...

....and asks his date what she wants to do. She replies "I want to get weighed." So he takes her to the Guess Your Weight booth and continue their date.

They go on a few more rides and again he asks her what she wants to do. "I wanna get weighed" she says once again. So they get her weighed a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar, and sees Trump and Cruz sitting in a booth.

He walks over there and says: "Wow! It's such an honor meeting both of you! What are you doing here?"

Cruz: "We're planning World War III."

Guy: "Really? What's going to happen?"

Cruz: "We're going to kill 140 million Muslims and a blonde with big tits."

Guy: "What? Why t...

The two women at the kissing booth made a bet to see who could raise the most money

All day long it was neck and neck

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?

Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.

A blonde walks into a blind date

“Nice to meet you” she says to her date as they seat themselves in the booth

“So tell me about yourself. What do you do for work?” She asks the man

“Oh I’m an optometrist” he replies

The blonde flashes a big smile and says “I think this is going to work out after all, I’m a gl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Redneck First Aid

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two hillbillies in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops h...

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth?

A blender.



How do you get them out?


Tostitos

Joke about a Pole in a swearing competition

A contest was set up. By who? Nobody knows.


But, the general gist was this - whoever can maintain the longest flow of cursewords wins... something.


And so, a Britton, a Frenchman, a Russian and a Pole get into the finals. Each have their own booths to psyche up and prepare for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Glory!

In an old part of town there's an establishment often visited by a certain kind of people.

In addition to numerous items on display, the purpose of which is unusual but well known to those who frequent the place, there are a number of small booths arranged in pairs, each pair sharing a commo...

A man on a business trip went out for breakfast

When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"

The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."

Puzzled, the wait...

Civil War spoilers

Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.

After falling on hard times, Mike Tyson decided to set up a "get punched by a celebrity" booth at the state fair, but sadly there was little interest.

Yeah he was hoping for a punch line too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A janitor is cleaning the church.......

.....when suddenly the priest runs out of the confession booth.

He bumps into the janitor and tells him to cover for him because he had run to the bathroom.

Surprised, the janitor tells the priest that he doesn't know anything about confessions.

The priest hands him a sheet of p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

one of grandpa's old classics

It's easier to shove a wet noodle up a wild cats ass in a telephone booth than it is to mess with me

An elderly couple are at McDonald's

They order one meal between the 2 and go and sit down.

The guy in the booth next to them notices they've only got one meal and offers to buy them another one.

The elderly man says "no thank you we share everything"

So the elderly man then cuts the burger in half and gives half ...

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender gives him a strange look, but serves him his drinks. The Irishman takes them to a booth, clinks them together, and drinks them all.

He then goes back to the bartender and orders another three beers, which he proceeds to drink in the same fashion.

On his third round, the ...

2 masochists went to a BDSM convention

The convention was doing a special showcase of some dominatrixes who were considered the best at their job, they were all on separate booths where they would give out free samples and show off their techniques.

On the first day the more experienced masochist wanted to go to the woman with th...

An English man, beautiful woman, old woman and a Irishman are on a train

As the four sit in the train booth together the train goes through a tunnel and the booth goes dark for a few seconds

SLAP!!!!

When the train came out of the tunnel the Englishman had been slapped in the face! Everyone was stunned as they sat there wondering what had happened.

T...

a guy goes to a party...

He has fun and goes to the photo booth, and there's no photo line.

Then he goes to the bathroom, and there's no bathroom line

Then he goes to get snacks and there's no snack line

Then he goes to get punch and there's no punch line

The pickup artist

A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You know, despite being known as a pickup artist I haven't had any luck with the ladies lately," he complains to the bartender. "It's probably because you spend all your time over there in a booth drawing pictures of F-150s," the bartender says.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A saloon was having a shooting competition

and a cowboy asked the bartender if he could convince people he had a dog that could shoot would the bartender give him free drinks for the rest of the night, as compensation for bringing in more guests.

The bartender agreed but asked how he'd convince everyone of that. The cowboy said he kn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overheard

This guy is in a restaurant and he hears another dude w a thick accent talking in the next booth.

He stares down into his plate of eggs and the guy behind him goes

"Emma cum first, then I cum"

And he reaches for the pepper and the guy is still talking

"Then the two asses...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hand Grenade Sale

One day a man was walking down the street with his wife, and his wife’s boyfriend.

As they were walking they happened upon a flea market, with tons of booths setup selling all kinds of goods. Each booth had a sign above with the items they were selling.

Hand made blankets 2 for 10$...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.