My wife asked me why I was yelling at the pot of water on the stove.

I said, water boils ~~faster~~ hotter under pressure.

A woman was forced to choose between two suitors to wed.

The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.

The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know what really boils my piss?

Hotel kettles.

A watched pot never boils

but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses

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