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Abscess Jokes

Guy is at the doctor.

He says "Doc. I can't fart. I feel like I'm gonna explode because I'm so full of gas, but I just can't fart."

So the Doc says "Okay show me."

So Guy pushes really hard and tries his best to make a fart. Eventually he makes a little fart that goes "Pfft, honda."

The doc has a l...

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Tony ambled into a bar, and noticed a bucket behind the counter filled to the brim with cash. "Is there a contest on to win that dough?" Tony asked the bartender. "Yep," the barkeep responded, "It costs $50 to enter, and then you have to do three things:

First you've got to knock out Spike, our 300-pound bouncer. Then we've got a pit bull out back with an abscessed tooth, and it's up to you to yank it out. Finally, the 90-year old lady who owns this place is upstairs. If you can give her a multiple-orgasm, all the money's yours."
Tony was up for ...

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A young man goes to see his doctor…

The doctor greets him, noticing the look of concern on his patient’s face. He then asks what brings the young man in today. “Doc, I don’t know what to do. I’m experiencing very strange farts and I’m getting freaked out by it. I need your help,” the man says. The doctor reassures him and begins to ex...

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I went to the doctors and told him that whenever I pass wind it sounds like I’m saying the name of a Japanese car. ...

He asked me to lay on the couch and pushed and prodded just as it happened again.
“Arhh! I can see your problem. You have an abscess. And an abscess always makes the fart go Honda”.

A strange case of flatulence!

A man goes to see his doctor and says
"This is really quite embarrassing doctor."
The doctor says "I have seen everything, what's the problem?"
The man says "well, every time I break wind it comes out of me with the word Honda."
The doctor says "mmm, take your trousers and pants off and...

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I've just started working away from home and found I have a problem with flatulence sounding like a motorbike.

I visited the doctor and it turns out I have small growth just on the inside of my anus. "Is it serious?" I asked.

He replied "No no, just a case of abscess makes the fart go Honda".

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Fart Joke

A guy goes to Japan for business and his Japanese hosts take him out and show him a good time. The next day he wakes up and as usual needs to fart BUT when he farts his fart goes "Honda" That day he has some business meetings and he keeps needing to fart and every time he farts it goes "Honda" The g...

Chinese herbologist

A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartenders asks him "hey, what's wrong buddy?". The man replies "I've got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure...

Doctor's know...

"Doc, there's something strange going on, it's not normal."

Doctor asks "What do you mean?"

"Whenever I fart it sounds like I'm saying 'Honda'."

Doctor says "Go see your dentist, you've got a cavity."

So he goes to the dentist, and sure enough he has a cavity. Dentist ...

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A man went to his doctor with a strange problem

When the doctor asked what the issue was, he explained:

"Every time I fart, it makes a strange noise that sounds like 'Honda'. In fact, I think I'm about to break wind now --"

and the sound of "HONDA HONDA" ushered forth from his nether regions.

"Ugh. You hear that? It's terribl...

A man goes to the hospital because his flatulence sounds unusual...

When he arrives, the doctor takes him straight into his office and asks him to fart. After a lot of straining the man manages to let out a little one. It sounds like a person, whispering the word 'Honda'.

The doctor almost immediately proclaims that he knows exactly what the problem is, and r...

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A man goes into his favorite bar and sees a jar of money on the counter with the word "win" printed on it.

"What's this about?" he asks the bartender.



"That's our monthly contest. You put in a $20 entry fee and then perform the three acts. If you complete all three successfully you win the pot."



"Cool," he says. "What are the three acts?"



"Well, first, you hav...

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Farting Honda

A sales rep for an American auto parts supplier was in Tokyo for an important meeting with the chairman of Toyota to close a huge deal. After he got to his hotel, he farted and strangely it sounded like his ass said "Honda". Puzzled, he forced out another fart and sure enough it came out "hooonda". ...

I had to take out a restraining order against my molar...

...it was abscessed with me.

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Young Indian Brave.

Once there was a young Indian Brave who could never do anything right. After years of being teased by the Tribe he had enough and wanted out. He went to the Chief and told him he no longer wanted to be part of the Tribe. Puzzled, the great old Chief said that no one but Death had ever left the tribe...

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A guy walks into a bar and is down on his luck.

Guy tells the bartender he's down on his luck and wants to know what he has to do to get free drinks for the rest of the night.

Bartender says, "well you've got to do 3 things, first, you see that guy at the end of the bar? Hes an ex Navy SEAL, you have to kick his ass. Second, there's a 12ft...

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Challenge Jar

A man walks into a bar. He approaches the bartender to order his drink and can’t help but notice a huge glass jar packed to the brim with $100 bills.

So the man asks the bartender, “What’s the deal with that jar?”

The bartender replies, “That’s our challenge jar. You put $100 in and i...

A man walks into...

a bar, and immediately walks up to the bar. He notices a large jar of cash placed on the bar that is oozing 20 dollar bills. He asks the bartender what it is for. To which the bartender replies; "It is the challenge jar. If you're feelin' froggy you can place a 20 in there, and I'll give you three c...

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