Blocked Jokes - 21 Hilarious Blocked Jokes

The doctor's office blocked my number after I kept calling about Pokemon.

I don't know what the hell they're taking about, but I really need someone to take a look at this bulbous sore I have.

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Hundreds of armed men, snipers on the roofs, traffic blocked. What is that?

Peace conference.

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Went to see my doctor about a blocked ear

He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said “homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair”

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What did the pee say when it was blocked by a kidney stone?

"Urine my way."

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I read about a guy that blocked an entire river with nothing but legumes

Dam thats nuts

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I went to the doctor's about my blocked ear, "Which ear is it ?" he asked...

It's 2022 I replied..

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Jane Goodall has blocked my number!

Didn't appreciate me sending her photos of macaque.

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I blocked a girl for correcting my grammar

It feelded good

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If men get cock blocked

Do women get beaverdammed?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you get cock-blocked by Vladimir Putin?

Erection interference

What did the cow say to his wife when she blocked the tv?

Moooove over

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So a river gets blocked off.

"Well I'll be dammed."

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I showed a girl my third leg. She blocked me.

I have a bad back so sometimes I use a cane.

So anyway, I found a girl I didn’t know personally and messaged her “Do you want to see my third leg? It’s hard, black, and a lot longer than you’re expecting. I guarantee it.” So she said “Hell yeah! Send it!” So I sent a picture of my cane.
...

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Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing

Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...

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I overheard my mum and dad arguing about who had blocked the toilet.

I tried to resolve the situation, but I wish I hadn't stuck my nose in.

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We learned today that Trump blocked a proposed budget change that would have eliminated finding for the Special Olympics.

He must have been pretty mad at the thought of being unable to compete this year.

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With many truck routes blocked from Wildfire, California residents are having beef shipments airdropped to them.

The steaks have never been higher.

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When your canals don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep past by your fleet, Will your cargo still remember the haste that I drove? Will your passage be blocked up for weeks?

'Cause, honey, your hull will always go slow, it's evergreen.

\~Capt. Ed Sheeran

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in line behind this guy buying condoms and his card just got declined.

The old lady behind me whispered "He just got cock blocked by visa"

A mother ant and her daughter were out for a walk in their underground city.

They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. One, with a sign reading *It's time to GO!,* spotted them and quickly approached.

"Excuse me ma'am, can you spare a moment to take a look at some alarming literature and help support our cause...

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A man was driving into town and found the road blocked by the local police department . . .

. . . he stepped out of the car and asked the nearest police officer what was going on.

The officer replied, "There has been a fatal accident on this road."

This was a small town, so the officer, figuring the man might know the deceased, asked if he would be willing to help identify th...

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