UPJOKE
covermantlebedclothtarpaulincloakveilpillowmattresswoolbeddingbroadencompassingwidebedclothes

Blankets Jokes

A priest and a nun in a desert cabin

A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.

They find a deserted cabin and take shelter.

They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets.

The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.

As they get tucked in for the...

Every Christmas we have pigs in blankets

Or as you probably call them - relatives sleeping in the spare room.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two strangers, a man and a woman, are sharing a sleeper cab on an overnight train

At around midnight, as they are both trying to fall asleep, the man says to the woman:

"Excuse me ma'am, but it's really cold, would you mind passing me one of the extra blankets on the table beside you?"

The woman answers:

"I'll tell you what, I'm also feeling really cold, for ...

What do you call a snowman wrapped in blankets?

A brrrrrrito

Blankets are everywhere.

That was a blanket statement.

My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night

But I will recover.

A man runs home from work

The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them.

The wife was shocked, he hadn't been this way since they were young!

Then the man then turns to her and says: "look! My new watch glows in th...

I own a company selling land mines that look like prayer blankets

Prophets are going through the roof!

What kind of moron invented the fire blanket

Surely fire is warm enough already?

I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets'

We've already been called the best cover band of all time

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

My cat scratched me for trapping her under the blankets as I made the bed...

I guess she's clawstrophobic.

If I'm on a plane that's going to crash, I'm going to grab some blankets and make a crude flying squirrel suit and jump out, even though I know it won't work.

At least the news will say, "His body was found over a mile from the crash site."

I shouldn’t make blanket statements about autistic people but…

a lot of them do enjoy being wrapped in blankets.

My daughter asked for a Frozen blanket

So last night she slept on the balcony

Cavemen

A pair of cavemen were debating what to hunt for that day.

"Me say go to big lake and get big fish," said the first caveman. "Big fish cook in fire, feed families good."

"Me no want fish," said the second caveman. "Me say go to great plain, hunt mammoth. Mammoth big and hairy, make muc...

Thought For The Day....

**Are old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs simply retired mermaids?**

I don't like Muslin Afghans and think people should stone them.

A good stonewash can make muslin fabric softer and more flexible which is better suited for afghans and blankets in general, otherwise just go with a soft acrylic yarn.

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other,

"Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.

"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.