What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil?

A flat iron steak.

Hit it on the head!

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s th...

The one with a big hole and an anvil

So there were two hunters walking in the wilderness when one spots a giant hole.

"Holy guacamole, look out for that hole!" he says to the other hunter.

Noticing it, the second hunter has an idea. "I wonder how deep it is." he says, picking up a rusty anvil sitting on the ground and dro...

Two hunters are walking through the woods when they come across a large hole.

It's so deep that they can’t see the bottom. One hunter goes looking for something to throw down the hole hoping to see how deep it is.

He finds a rusty old anvil near by and throws it down the hole. The hole is so deep they never hear it hit the bottom.

Suddenly, they hear speeding h...

If you lock a US Marine in a room with an anvil ....

... He will either break it, lose it, or get it pregnant.

An anvil walks into a bar..

The bartender asks him, would you like a beer? The anvil answers: "No thanks, I'm already hammered."

Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead?

Because it was irony.

A biker stopped by the

local Harley shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn’t do the work while he waited, and so, since he didn’t live far from the shop, he decided to walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped at the feed store / livestock dealer and p...

I once told the family I like heavy metal

I got an iron anvil. Best gift ever.

Two men in the woods

Two old friends are walking through the woods, catching up after not seeing one another in a long time. After awhile they come upon a vast deep hole in the ground. Perplexed and inquisitive, they look for something to toss down. They find a rusted old anvil and shove it in. It disappears into the da...

Two hunters were walking in the woods...

One of them stops and says, "Whoa, whoa! Watch out for that hole!".

They both stop and look down what appears to be the deepest hole they'd ever seen, right in the ground in front of them.

"How deep is that?", one of them asks the other.

"I dunno, let's throw something down an...

Two hunters are tracking a deer when they stumble upon a deep hole...

They can’t see the bottom of this hole and were wanting to see how deep it went. One of the hunters found an anvil next to the hole and threw it down. They were waiting to hear the thud of the anvil hitting the ground but they didn’t hear anything. Suddenly, the hunters heard a charging sound. The h...

Another one translated to English, this time from Czech :)

A farmer went to the mall to do some shopping. He bought an anvil and a bucket in the hardware store.
In the animal store he bought a pair of chickens and a goose. But how to carry it all now?
The shopkeeper advised him: "Put the anvil in the bucket and carry that in one hand, put the goos...

Two hunters were walking around in the woods around twilight

One of them grabs the other and pulls him back from a 6-foot diameter, perfectly smooth hole.

"You saved my life" says the hunter. "I wonder how far down that hole goes..."

So they find an old anvil and throw it in the hole. As they're listening for the anvil to hit, a goat comes runni...

Two men are walking through the forest

And they stumble across a deep hole in the ground. They think wow that's a really deep hole. One of them says "I wonder how deep that hole is" . The other guy says "I took AP physics in high school I know what we can do. Let's find something heavy and drop it into the hole. Then, we listen to see ho...

The 3 step Chinese torture

A guy comes to a Chinese house in the middle of nowhere. Being late he ask to sleep in their house. The dad accepts but says: "If you sleep with my daughter I will use the 3 step Chinese torture on you!"

The guy accepts and enters the house. The daughter is stunning beautiful. Also she flirts...

Two men are walking through the forest when they stumble upon a large sinkhole.

Guy says, "Woah! This thing looks deep; how deep down do you think it goes?" The two men search around for a long stick or branch to assess the depth, but find nothing of use. They continue their search and they stumble across an old, rusty anvil; and naturally, they haul the anvil over and toss it ...

Two men are walking through the woods together and they come across an insanely huge hole in the ground.

The first man picks up a rock and tosses it into the hole. The rock vanishes from sight, and neither guy could hear the rock hit the bottom.

The second man decides to throw a huge log into the hole. After a few seconds pass, again there was no sound.

Both men, wanting to know how dee...

Two hunters are walking through the woods when they stumble upon a large hole in the ground.

The first hunter says to the other, "That looks really deep. I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how far it goes."

To find out how deep it really is, the hunters toss some nearby pebbles into the hole and try to listen for when the pebbles hit the bottom. None of the pebbles make a sou...

a couple were walking in the woods...

when they cane across a huge hole. There was an anvil next to a hole. Wondering how deep the whole was, they dropped the anvil down. A few seconds later, a goat went whizzing by and fell down the hole. A few minutes later a farmer ran by and asked the kids if they had seen his pet goat.

"Yes,...

(Abstract joke)

Two armadillos are walking through Sahara. Above them, a flock of anvils is flying.
"Where are you folks flying to?" first armadillo asks.
"To Morocco" replies one of the anvils and the flock flies away.
Two hours later, the armadillos encounter another flock of anvils, on the ground,...

Two hunters were walking through the woods

Two hunters were walking through the woods trying to find a spot to set up their deer stand. During their search they found a large hole in the middle of the woods. They looked down into the hole and were unable to see the bottom, so they started trying to find things they could throw to see how dee...

Two guys are hunting in the woods...

One of them spots a hole in the ground that looks unusually deep. He picks up a rock and throws it in the hole, and never hears it hit the bottom. "Try something heavier?", the other man suggests. They find a rusty old anvil nearby, pick it up and throw it down the hole. Five seconds later a goat co...

Two men are walking down the street when they notice an enormous hole

The hole appears bottomless and the men, being men, want to see how deep it is. They find an anvil near by, grab a side each, shuffle over to the hole and chuck it in. The anvil drops like a stone but makes absolutely no noise. The men look at each other with a puzzled expression. Suddenly they hear...

Two hunters were walking through the woods...

Two hunters were walking through the woods, and they stumble upon a giant, seemingly bottomless hole.

Wanting to find out how deep it it, the hunters begin throwing rocks down it and listen for them to hit the ground. After a few attempts, with no sound ever coming from the hole, the hunters ...

What's the hardest part about blacksmithing?

The anvil.

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a computer

Once upon a time, there was a village idiot. He excelled at doing precisely what he was told to do. However, being an idiot, he never questioned his orders.

His parents convinced the village blacksmith to apprentice the idiot.

The blacksmith explains to the idiot, "Grab a rod with th...

A farmer is walking across a field and sees a well...

so he picks up a rock and throws it inside to see how deep it is.

He doesn't hear a splash, so he picks up a piece of wood and throws it into the well, but alas, still no splash.

He starts to get very angry from thirst and looks around desperately. He sees an anvil and heaves it into t...

So a man is walking in a field...

...when he comes across an incredibly deep hole. Wondering how deep the hole is, he picks up a near by anvil and drops it down the hole. The anvil makes a long whistling sound as it falls but it never hits the ground. "Holy cow!" goes the man. "That is a deep hole." A few moments later a goat charge...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.