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Clockmaker Jokes

What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"?

"Vee haf vays to make you tock"

I was so excited when my son left for college to become a clockmaker...

...Until he dropped out after a semester. Turns out, he thought studying Horology was something completely different.

A clockmaker retires and moves to a small village

Not having much to do, he opens a small shop mostly just to have a place to keep all of his favorite clocks that he's collected over the years. Not needing to hustle any more, he spends most of his day gazing out his shop window watching people go by.

Every morning he sees a man stop, stare ...

A chef, a clockmaker, and a thief walk into a bar, but the bartender says he doesn't get the joke.

They all say, "It's okay, these things take thyme."

Potato clock

A man was starting a new job and didn't want to be late. So he went to the clockmakers and asked to buy a Potato clock.

The clock maker was puzzled. "What's a Potato clock?"

The man replied "I don't know. I said to my wife that I didn't want to be late to work at 9 am, so she told me t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man with a speech impediment goes shopping...

First he goes to the bakers, "can I have a bum please?" he asks. "Do you mean a bun?" Says the baker. "Yes," the man replies, buys the bun and gets on his way...

Next he goes to the electrical store, "can I have a sucket please?" he asks. "Do you mean a socket?" Says the shop assistant. "...

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