A conversation I had with my mom

Mom: A little birdy told me someone’s been taking drugs

Me: Well you’re the one talking to birds!

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Birdy, birdy, in the sky..

..dropped a poopy in my eye. I didn't care, I didn't cry. I just thank God that cows don't fly.

A mini poem:

Little birdy, flying high,
Drops a present from the sky,
Farmer says, wiping his eye,
Thank the Lord my pigs don't fly!

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A man was getting a tan on a nudist beach when a young girl walks towards him...

Because he found it indecent to be fully nude in front of the little girl, he covered his groin with his hat.
"What's underneath that hat?" the girl asked. "Nothing special, just a little birdy" the man replied.

The girl insisted on seeing the birdy, and the man told her no, so she walk...

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An old woman asks for her neighbor's parrot..

An old woman was chatting with her next door neighbor, and when he mentioned that he was going away to college and could not take his parrot with him, she asked him what he would do with the bird.
"Ah, I'll give 'em to the pet store. Somebody else's problem."
Well this just would not do for t...

Jesus is watching

A couple of men enters a house to steal some stuff.

Suddenly an echo within the room says " Jesus is watching you"

Both of them got startled and started to look for the source of the noise.

One of the men shined a flashlight on a cage on found a parrot, the parrot said "Jesus is...

A hobo is lying on the beach covered in newspaper...

...and suddenly a young girl appears and asks him what's under the newspaper. He responds in a gravely voice, "Eh, it's just a bird." She then asks him if she can play with his bird. He laughs and says, "Sure, why not." A few minutes later he falls asleep.

Hours later, he wakes up, but this t...

Little Girl

A man is lying on the beach, naked. I little girl approaches him and asks "Hey mister, what's that?" (She is pointing to his junk) the man replies "It's just a little birdie, now go away." The man falls asleep.

A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital. The doctor asks"What happened ...

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Talking Parrot

A guy walks into a pet store and sees a "talking parrot for sale".

He asks the store owner "what does it say"?

The store owner replies "pull it's leg and it talks...give it a shot"

So the man pulls the parrots left leg and the parrot squawks "polly want a cracker".


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A woman has problems with her parrot..

Every time she brings a guy home the parrots starts squawking "Raaawk Somebody's gettin' laid.""Harder,Harder Squawk!" So finally the woman goes to the pet store hoping a female parrot would quiet her dirty birdy. The owner says he has no parrots but has a female owl. The woman thinks nothing of it ...

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