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Three men die and go to heaven

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says to them, "Congratulations; you made it into heaven! God has one rule, however, which is: **YOU CANNOT STEP ON, KILL, OR TOUCH A DUCK.** If you do, you will be punished.**"**

The men think this is rather strange, but they agree.

A cou...

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I met a sorceress in the desert once

She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced

Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly ...

The barkeep asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What can I get for you?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."

The barkeep was not impressed, but says to the guy, "O...

I bought a do it yourself book on Amazon.

I only received paper, pen, bindings and glue.

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A guy walking on the beach comes across a brass lantern half buried in the sand...

He picks up the lamp, and on a whim rubs it to see what happens. Yep, a genie appears and offers him 3 wishes. Knowing that genies often play tricks, like delivering the billion dollars you wished for by dropping 1 billion in gold bars on your head, he thinks carefully about his first two wishes....

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Death or Boola Boola

Three men are on an expedition in the Amazon when they are captured by a native tribe. They are bound and lined up in the central area surrounded by tents.

The chief comes up to the first guy and asks "Death or Boola Boola?" First guy says "well i don't know what Boola Boola is, but i don't w...

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What do you get when two lawyers have sex?

I Binding contract that you can't pull out of!

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Farmhouse

A city slicker wanted to buy a farm. He found just what he was looking for. During an inspection of the property, however, he found a hive of bees.

He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees, and there was no way he could consider this piece of land.

The landowner assured h...

When he was 16 Sam felt the Lord calling him so he joined the local monastery.

He took the vows of celibacy, poverty, and obedience. For the next 50 years his job was to make bibles, printing them and binding them by hand. After 50 years of devotion he was ready to retire so the head monk organized a diner for Sam the next evening.

As they talked about the diner the ...

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