Billable Hours Jokes

...and says to him, "I offer you this deal. Every year for the next five years, you will have 5,000 billable hours at three times your current rate. You will win every case, and some of your cases will become landmarks in the law books. After the five years, your soul, as well as the souls of you... read more

Angel of death says "Not according to your billable hours"

“I’m only 45 years old! Why is it already my time to depart? Send me back to Earth right now or I’ll sue you!” he angrily snapped to the gatekeeper.

“Based to the records of your billable hours, Mr. Lawyer, you’re 98 years old.”, replied the gatekeeper.

Lawyer: "St. Peter, what happened? I was as healthy as an ox, and I'd barely passed my 48th birthday!"

St. Peter: "48? According to your billable hours you were 172."

He asked god why he was dead at such an early age. God replied "Son, according to the billable hours you filed in your time sheet you should be 92 by now "

He gets to the gate and sees Saint Pete. No fair the lawyer says, I am only 45.
Saint Pete says no, we got a new system. We do it by billable hours, our system says you are 135

He bawled to St.Peter, " That's so unfair, I am just 45 and dead without enjoying all that life had to offer me".

A sympathetic St.Peter consoled him saying, "We now have a new system in place. We do it by billable hours. According to our records, you are now 153.

An attorney at the peak of life, and in great physical shape, suddenly drops over dead at the age of 38.

He arrives at the Pearly Gates and immediately asked, "Why did I die so young, surely this is an error?"

St. Peter looks into the Great Book of Life and replies, "Sorry no mistake, ... read more