UPJOKE
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Just finished watching a fascinating program about beavers.

Best dam documentary I've ever seen.

For Christmas, what do beavers give?

A dam.

What did the river say when it saw beavers approaching?

Well I'll be dammed...

So there's these two beavers...

one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.

Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."

Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says
...

How can you tell that only male beavers cut down trees?

Because they're all fellers.

Beavers are great dam builders and Canada's national animal.

That's why Canada is the best damn country in the world!

What’s a Beavers favorite snack?

Wood chips.

I was reading on the BBC about a plan to reintroduce beavers to London.

I'm all for it....I do prefer a bit of grass on the pitch personally.

A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding

I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.

Two beavers are looking over a river.

One turns to the other and says, "Dam it."

After a fatal river rise, what did the commander beaver say to all the other beavers?

Dam it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are vaginas called beavers?

Because they eat wood!

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

Which species of ants prefer to eat beavers ?

Lesbi-ants

Hey Guys! They brought back Angry Beavers! Isn't it great?

Its been renamed to The View, however...

I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.

I otter know better.

Beavers get a lot of flak for building their shelters and blocking water ways-

But they are Damed if they do, and Damned if they don't

There once was a town out west...

There once was a small town out west, nestled between the Rocky Mountains. The town was built on a stream, with a small lake the stream snaked outward from. Most of the town was employed by multiple large orchards nearby, and the town's inhabitants spent their days at the lake enjoying their time of...

Wife came out the shower giggling at this joke she just thought up: Why didn’t the beavers send any wood down the river?

Because they didn’t give a dam.

I said to my friend "I bet you can't name a single subject, I don't have a joke about" He said " beavers"

"damn" I replied....

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