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Environmentalist Jokes

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A lawyer, an environmentalist and a teacher were going the bathroom.

The lawyer gets done, washes his hands and uses the entire roll of tissue paper to wipe his hands. "I was taught to be thorough.", he said.

The environmentalist washes his hands and uses his own kerchief to wipe his hands. "I was taught to be environment friendly.", he said.

The teach...

An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years

A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, "What? What did you say?!"

The environmentalist solemnly repeated, "I said if we continue the way we are that every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years."

The man sat down in relief and said, "Oh,...

Q.How do we know there are so many environmentalists on reddit?

A. Because everyone keep recycling the same jokes

They call me the environmentalist

Because I’m all about SUS-tainability

What food does an environmentalist hate?

Baked Alaska

Why do environmentalists love this sub?

Because everything here is recycled.

You want my impression of a child environmentalist

How dare you

An environmentalist friend of mine told me I should buy organic because it's sustainable

I looked at my bank account, and I really disagree.

We should make an island for environmentalist...

We could call it. Mad at gas car

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My environmentalist ass named one of my twins Carbon

The other one was Copy.

I refused to walk across hot coals because I'm an environmentalist.

I didn't want to have a large carbon footprint.

An environmentalist and a lumberjack are having a discussion on women.

They both are having a tough time talking to women, so they decide to offer each other advice.

Environmentalist: "So what's your best pickup line?"

Lumberjack: "It's more of a steel cable I tie to my truck to haul logs"

Environmentalist: "No I mean what do you first say to them?...

I think everyone is wrong about President Bolsonaro of Brazil. The man's obviously a deeply committed environmentalist...

After all, wiping out a sizable part of your population is a great way to save the rain forests.

What do you call it when an environmentalist cuts down an endangered tree?

Treeson.

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

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I think wife is turning into an environmentalist.

She's great at saving energy. She always turns the light off before sex, which is a bonus. But she could at least fucking move a bit.

What do environmentalists and Redditors have in common?

They're both damn good at recycling.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm too much of an environmentalist...

Oh well, not many fish left in the sea

How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Nobody knows.

What's an environmentalist's favorite part of a computer?

The recycle bin.

There once was a town out west...

There once was a small town out west, nestled between the Rocky Mountains. The town was built on a stream, with a small lake the stream snaked outward from. Most of the town was employed by multiple large orchards nearby, and the town's inhabitants spent their days at the lake enjoying their time of...

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Killing 31,646 people would be the equivalent of planting 20 million trees.

Making hitler the biggest environmentalist ever!

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Challenged my boss to a street race.

My boss drives a Prius to work every day. One day I challenged him to a street race after work, my Focus against his car, for pink slips. Quarter mile. He accepted

That night waiting for him, he pulls up, in a Corvette. We raced. He won. I didn't stop. Kept going. Next day I called into work...

Traffic lights teach us that if you see a green man, you should start crossing the road.

So that's how I avoid environmentalists.

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending...

What's green and croaks?

A dying environmentalist.

Permits required A woman from Sydney who was a tree hugging, vegetarian and anti-hunter purchased a piece of native bush land in northern N.S.W.

There was a large gum tree on one of the highest points in her property.

She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big gum.

As she neared the top, she encountered a koala that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the t...

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Did you know that if you were to print out every single page on the internet, and stack them all, one on top of the other...

... environmentalists would go fucking nuts.

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