UPJOKE
roman numeralsdateyearjulian calendaradamsamericaavogadrobenbenthambritishburneycolonialcoloniescommonsenseconstable

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks.

To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam.


Examiner: When did the USA gain independence?
Spy: July 4, 1776


\- Good. How many continents are there?
\- Easy peasy, seven.
\- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in?
\- Technically, Turkey...

July 2nd, 1776

South America : Hey USA, you free tomorrow night?

USA : ‘Fraid not mate, I can do the night after though.
upvote downvote report

Dancing was popular in 1776

The Independance
upvote downvote report

Why is it spelled “canceled” in the US and “cancelled” in the UK?

Because the US gave the UK the L back in 1776.
upvote downvote report

“Nothing important happened today”

- personal diary of King George III, 4 July 1776
upvote downvote report

Why do Americans pronounce 'solder' as 'sodder'?

Because they gave Britain the L in 1776
upvote downvote report

Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..

..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776
upvote downvote report

A British man

A British man asks and American,

“Why don’t you spell colour, armour, or flavour the same way as we do?”

The American replied,

“We got rid of u in 1776.”
upvote downvote report

A Londoner meets a stereotypical American redneck

The redneck tells him: “Why don’t y’all like guns? They’re completely safe! See, I have mine in my safe next to my bed, I know the passcode so well I can take my gun and kill any intruder in half a second!”

The Londoner replies: “Really? Is it truly that safe?”


The redneck replies:...
upvote downvote report

The Final Exam

The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking their history final then, they...
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an 3rd grade American class room...

The teacher is discussing U.S. presidents.

"Who gave the Gettysburg Address?" she asked the class.

Immediately a hand shot up belonging to a female Japanese foreign exchange student.

"Yes?" the teacher asked.

"Abraham Lincoln! 1863!" replied the girl proudly.

"That...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian guy named Vinny comes to America to become an American Citizen...

To become an American citizen Vinny has to go to court and stand in front of a judge.

Vinny brings his whole family to the courtroom to cheer him on. They are a very loud and rambunctious Italian family.

Vinny stands in front of the judge and the judge says, "Ok Vinny, before you becom...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information