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Illuminati Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chickens are Illuminati

As of 2011 there is an estimated 19 billion chickens in the world or 3 for every person. What has 3 sides? A triangle. Where can you see triangles? The pyramids. Where are the pyramids? Egypt. What did Egyptians worship? Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs are rivals such as chickens and turkeys. When do p...

Did you know the Illuminati once bought pizza for every single person on the planet?

And if the rumours are true, they’re gonna do it again, it’s gonna be a new world order.

What does the Illuminati smell like?

New World Odor

Do you still believe that there's no Illuminati presence at the Amsterdam airport?

Wake up, Schiphol!

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

Maybe the only way to join Illuminati..

Is to buy WinRAR License?

What's the illuminati's favorite month?

Jew-Lie

If you listen to Nicki Minaj backwards, you'll hear the illuminati's plans

What's worse, if you listen to it forward, it's Nicki Minaj

What starts with I, ends with I and has an I in it?

Answer: >!Illuminati!<

Ever hear of an alien reptilian on a tractor?

Illuminati cornfarmed.

What do you call a lightbulb that goes bad?

An illuminati.

The Twelve Days of Conspiramas

On the twelfth day of Conspiramas, my informant sent to me...

Twelve Chemtrails Trailing

Eleven Vaxxers Vaxxing

Ten Lizards Lording

Nine Eleven Plotters

Eight Illuminati

Seven RFID Implants

Six Fake Moon Landings

Five GMOs...

Four False...

Conspiracy theorists, I hope you're right...

I hope the illuminati run this country, they seem like a safe bet

What is the punchline to this joke my daughter's Fozzie Bear toy says?

My daughter has a muppet babies Fozzie Bear talking toy.

He says numerous phrases including singing the muppet babies theme song and who could forget his memorable catch phrase "wakka wakka"

But then, being the jokester he is, says this:

"Did you ever hear the one about the ba...

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