104 Jokes

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?", the reporter asks.

She simply answers, "No peer pressure."

His open-casket funeral allegedly took over eight hours, over seven of which consisted of the surviving relatives of his putting his right hand into the coffin, putting his right hand out, ...

So a 104-year-old man is being interviewed on the news. The interviewer says, "You're 104, you are lucid, you still get around, and you can still take care of yourself. What's your big secret?"

And the old man says, "I once blew a guy for a sandwich."

I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision

I’m not sure where else to post this. This sub feels most fitting, but it’s been a long night. Please advise where it may be better suited if you’d like.

So our night sucked but had a silver lining in my two year old daughter’s comedic timing. We had to rush her to the ER at 3:00am (vomiting ... read more

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.
Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work... read more

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

A woman stopped, “excuse me young man, but I’ll have you know that those can take years off of your life.”

“No disrespect ma’am, but I’ll have you know that my grandfather lived to the ripe old age of 104.”

“Did he smoke also?”

“No, he minded his own f\*\*king business.”

When I lost 104 pounds, people asked me how I did it.

I asked “Do you think you can lose one pound?” They said sure. Anyone can do that.

I told them “thats all I know how to do. I lost one pound every week, for 2 years. One pound at a time.”

True story.

9/11 victims. One when through 104 stories in a few seconds.

MET 104 Standing in Deep Water

MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain

MET 106 Acting Amazed

Man: Chocolate isn't good for you

Steve: My grandpa ate chocolate every day, and he lived to be 104 years old

Man: Do you really think he lived that long because of the chocolate that he ate?

Steve: No. It was because he knew when to keep his mouth shut

My Great Grandma is 104, and she said to me:

"If the good die young, I MUST BE TERRIBLE"