UPJOKE
julian calendarmillenniumyesteryearyeartwelvemonthweekdecadecenturyfortnighteramyayonksweeklyyearhundredmidweek

The new father

A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.

"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."

"Dad you dont mea-"

"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.

"Da...

a father and his son are having a heart-felt talk.

“my boy”. the father started. “you are now about to became the old coot that i had been, so thus i entrust you with this book, and i hope it would be useful as it was to me.”

the son, curious on the present his father gave him, looked at the title of the book:

“1001 best dad jokes, eve...

A backpacker finds a tiny village tucked away in the mountains with one tiny pub

He walks into the pub and there are all these old men just sitting around in silence. So the backpacker orders a beer and finds himself a seat.

Suddenly one of the men shouts, "Number 4!" and the whole room erupts with laughter.

The backpacker is surprised by this but then the laughter...

Why was 1000 afraid of 0111

0111
1000
1001

I hope this joke gains traction when machines takes over the world

Why was Princess Jasmine so sore?

well it was 1001 knights...

Some sciences as per my high school nephew...

Geology: All hail the Rock!
Psychology: brainception
Genetics: Punett squares and percentages
Chemistry: what is water?
Biology: no math for the love of God
Physics: 1001 ways to throw things
Astronomy: the nerds of the science world

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001

1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.