Witches Jokes

BROOM BROOM

To get better grip on the broom.

''Hail MacBeth. For a fee we will predict your future.''

-''Really? How much?''

''10 Pence per predicted year.''

''I want a prediction for my *whole* life.''

''That'll be 5 pence.''

- Herman Finkers

They wear moisture-wiccan clothes

A Christian, a Muslim, and a Witch of the Norse gods all die and go to the afterlife.

They find that, waiting for them at the entrance to the afterlife is Anubis, waiting with a set of scales, with a feather on one side.

Above Anubis is a sign, "You wait with your heart, if less than f... read more

vacuum cleaners are too heavy

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"... read more

The first witch tastes the brew. "It needs an eye of newt," she says.

"Agreed" says the second.

"Aye," says the newt.

"Perfect," says the third.

They cast “smells”

They get expelled!

One witch puts up a sign in front of her house reading "Here lives the most powerful witch in the world!" A second witch sees the sign and puts up her own, reading "Here lives the most powerful witch in the universe!" The third witch sees both signs and puts up her own sign reading "Here lives the m... read more

She thought to herself, "Am I the only one who still drives a stick?"

Because their husbands have hollow weenies.

Hog warts.

Which witch would watch which watch?

Broomates!

So they know which witch is which!

(I used to say this all the time when I was younger)

why don’t witches wear panties ?

So they can hold onto their broomsticks.

Because there's no broom left for anyone else.

An Easy Bake Coven!

in Cursive

Glad to see it; especially now that they’ve legalized same-hex marriage.

Bippity-boppity-poo.

Just one, but she’ll change it into a newt.

So they can grip their broom better.


I know,I know.I posted this a few weeks back but because Halloween is coming up I thought maybe you might want to pass this around the office,bar,whatever.

They love some coven-ready chicken.

Because their husbands have hallow-weenies!

Covens

A bruja-ja .

At the stake house.

They will be scaretakers.

The leaky cauldron

It's called BroomService

You never know which witch is which.

Hex-ercise

A ham sand witch.

Their husbands have hollow wieners!

Come on, better than why can’t fortune tellers have babies, Their husbands have crystal balls!

... when her apprentice walked in. Noticing the witches frowning face, she asks “What’s wrong, Master?”

The witch replied, “Well, I’ve got some good newts and some bad newts...”