Why is England the wettest country?

Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

What is the wettest country on earth?

United Kingdom, because the Queen has reigned for years.

*this is my 8 year old daughters absolute favorite joke.

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What's the wettest animal in the sea?

The octopussy.

what part of the alphabet is the wettest?

H to O

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Teacher says, “The president is coming to school! Now listen,

He’s a very powerful man and he must be respected.

When he gets out of his car everybody cheer.

When he walks up the steps shout, ‘again! again!again!’.

Finally, when he’s in the classroom chant his name”.

The president gets out of the car and steps on shit.


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LPT: If you're trying to get over a crush just imagine them taking the wettest dump ever.

Unless, of course, you're into that kind of shit.

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For All You Disney Fans, here’s a little Story about the time I rode the Monorail at Disneyland

One time while riding the monorail at Disneyland, I let out the loudest, wettest, deepest and almost foul smelling fart I have ever ripped in my life. There are no words in the English language that can describe the absolute rancidity of this fart. It was so putrid that actual green gas was visible ...

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A newlywed is talking to a friend about her husband.

“I only have one complaint” she says.
“Every morning, right after he wakes up, he rolls over and lets out the wettest, most stomach turning fart. I keep telling him he’s going to fart his guts out and asking him to stop but he just laughs and farts again the next day.”
Her friend, a butchers w...

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A Boy Meets His Girlfriend's Dad for the First Time...

A boy, named Jimmy, is meeting his girlfriend's family for the first time. He especially wants to impress the father.

He ends up sitting on the porch with the father and the family dog, Rover, with the pooch sitting under his chair. The conversation carries on for a little bit until it dies d...

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