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Saddam Jokes

If Saddam Hussein had married Little Miss Muffet...

Would the Kurds of had their whey?

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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...

Is there nothing on the internet that I won’t masturbate to?

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body.

As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.
A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened.

"Well," he whis...

Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CD collection?

In Iraq.

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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

Saddam's Ghost

Saddam Hussein had no sooner died than finding himself in hell, face to face with the Genie whom he had found as a child.

"You are a horrible Genie! You failed me with my three wishes!"

"No I didn't, Saddam...let's review...You wished to be a great leader of your country. This came tru...

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TBT to Saddam

Saddam calls George in the middle of night and says he just had a terrible dream. He saw America on fire, dead people everywhere, the Sun blocked by smoke...

George Bush: "You Iraqis are always about wars and destruction. I also had a dream about Baghdad, but I dreamed streets full of festiv...

I high-fived Saddam Hussein

Didn't want to leave him hanging

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What's the subtle difference between Saddam Hussein and a sperm?

One comes from Baghdad, the other cums from Dads bag.

Saddam Hussein was found Guilty in a Court of Law

but he was given a suspended sentence

Why didn’t Saddam Hussein watch Return of the King?

He was living under Iraq

I just used a Saddam Hussein jelly mould....

I think I've set a dangerous president.

An Iraqi official calls all of his 8 Saddam's doubles...

He says, i have good news, and bad news. The good is that Saddam is alive, the bad is that he lost an arm.

What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band?

My Chemical Romance

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I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

It was the grater of two evils.

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997....

An Iraqi man was fleeing the Saddam Hussein regime in 1997 and ended up in a refugee camp in India. There, he met a lovely young woman, who happened to be the caretaker of the camp. They eventually started dating and were truly in love. One night, the woman asked if he would marry her.

The we...

Saddam Hussein once asked me for a cigarette when I was working for the armed forces in Iraq. I don't normally give out my cigarettes...

...but he was clearly despot.

What did Saddam Hussein say every time he played pool?

I rack.

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Hello! Mr. Hussein?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sadd...

Based on a true story

During the liberation of Kuwait many Kuwaitis named their children that were born during that time with related names to the event.

One of those names were, and I kid you not, "George Bush". Not as in George and the dad bush but literally a single first name George Bush.

Now this guy...

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An old joke from my parents' home country

At the international dentist convention the dentists from Iraq were displaying their new extraction technique.

With this device you can remove teeth from a patients mouth by entering through the rectum and navigating through their digestive track to pull the tooth out.

A dentist in the...

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In the afterlife, Dictators are lining up in heavens gate to be judged

St. Peter: Ok Stalin, you're next!

Stalin: It's ok Hitler, you can go first!

(After Hitler)

St. Peter: ok,next!

Stalin: Go ahead Saddam!

( after Saddam )

St. Peter: ok,next!

Stalin: Go ahead Marcos!

St. Peter: what's wrong with him?

Mar...

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Hey girl, are you from Iraq?

Coz you look Saddam fine when you Baghdad ass up.

What do they call a depressed barrier?

Saddam

True Story of Joke Told at Ft Benning, GA

In class 92-1 of Infantry Officer Basic course we were in a large lecture hall in building 4 at Ft. Benning, GA. Desert Storm had just finished less than a year previously and we were one of the first classes of new infantry officers to get a look at all the cool intelligence from Iraq. We were th...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

Thought I'd try writing bad monologue jokes today. Like Jay Leno bad.

Russia says it will begin patrolling with nuclear submarines again for the first time in 20 years. Nuclear subs that are 20 years old? I didn’t know Russia had Subway.

In Texas, a husband and wife are blaming one another for sending ricin-laced letters to public officials. As the saying goes,...

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