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Small Town Jokes

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A hurricane is headed for a small town. The news says that everyone needs to evacuate. A religious man in the town says "I'm not going to leave my home, God will protect me".

The hurricane hits, and it's bad. There's mass flooding, and the police come to the man's door and tell him he needs to leave. The man says "I'm not afraid, God will protect me." The police give up and leave him.

The water rises in his house, so the man is forced to climb onto his roof. Just...

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A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the townspeople punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “ju...

A man buys a paint factory in a small town.

He visits the local volunteer fire department to see for himself if they'd be able to handle a fire at his plant. What he finds convinces him they could not...the whole fire department consists of one old pumper truck and a bunch of volunteers he finds less than reliable. He tells them "Boys, I'm so...

Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."

"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to rati...

During the USSR regime a communist governor is visiting one of the small towns in his district

The mayor of the town is excited to show the governor how dedicated his people are to the communist party, so as they are walking through the town bazaar, he pulls one of the farmers aside
to ask him a couple of questions.

He asked "Comrade, if you had two apartments, wouldn't you be ...

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A police captain moved to a small town, upon his arrival the locals warned him there were no women in town ...

He was told that whenever he wanted to get laid he should come near the river and wait for his turn.

He never spoke about the issue with people in town until couple of months in the new job, the captain realised he could no longer wait.

He rushed to the river and saw a long line of men...

A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.

He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."

A salesman drove into a small town...

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing.

A sign read:

"Don't Miss The Amazing Italian".

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, under The Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Ita...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from rea...

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Three men, Joe, Bro, and Buddy, all lived in a small town.

One day, Joe went hunting alone, and for the next few days no one heard from him. About a week afterwards, a body was found and brought into the coroner’s office.

The coroner, after thoroughly examining the body, needed a positive identification in order to verify that the body was indeed Jo...

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A Man Goes to a Small Town

He goes to the local bar and asks the bartender where a guy goes to have sex.


"If you're looking to get fucked, go on upstairs and knock on the door at the end of the hall"


The guy heads right up the steps and knocks on the door. A voice behind the door says "what are you looki...

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One ...

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk...



The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful.

It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. The...

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A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past.

She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says, "Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?"

The old man said, "But I won't be able to..."

Prostitute: "C'mon man.... give it a try... "

Old man says okay. They go in. The old man whips out his dick a...

A small town lawyer called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a 80 year old woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Singh, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Kulkarni. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not kn...

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

A guy walks in a small town grocery store

He proceeds to ask the seller:

"Do you have camembert cheese?"

To which the seller asks:

"What is camembert cheese? Never heard of it before."

Arrogantly, our guy says:

"Well, it's a soft cheese with white mould on top, it's a delicacy."

Seller ponders a bit...

A little boy is sitting with his grandfather (Hans) on a hill overlooking their small town.

The grandfather points out a church in the middle of town and says, "you see that church? I built it, but do they call me "Hans the Church Builder"? No."

A couple minutes later, Hans points out a long brick wall along the outskirts of town. He says to his grandson, "you see that brick wall? I...

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A man moves to a very small town...

...with a population of a couple hundred people. He bought a place here sight-unseen as he was tired of the rat race in the big city. Figured it would be a nice change of scenery.

After a few days he goes to the sole bar/restaurant. He notices only men are there. He asks if there are any wom...

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A Baptist preacher, a Methodist preacher, and a Presbyterian preacher lived in the same small town.

The three were of similar age, and over the years, they and their wives became friends. All three retired within a few months of each other, and decided to rent an RV to drive across the country. Only a few days into the trip, they were in a horrible accident that killed all six of them.

The...

Satan appeared before a small town congregation.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure ...

In the summer of 1901, there was a small town in Western New York.

Nestled in a small valley, the town of Alfred was dominated by a church with a massive bell that would ring every day, at the top of every hour for several minutes on end, from sun up 'til sun down, much to the ire of the inhabitants.


One fateful night, the bell disappeared. Distraught,...

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A man takes a business trip to a small town in a remote valley...NSFW

and when he checks into the only hotel in the town, he quietly asks the manager:

"Y'know, do you have any girls here, for, uh, 'nighttime favours'?"

"Not really", the manager answers, "we only have Bob."

The man is a bit confused, replies "Hm, no thank you" and goes to his room...

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Billy was the first person in his small town to go to college.

After he’d been there a few weeks, he lost all his money at a fraternity card game. He thought about his options and had an idea.

His father had just written him to ask how things were going. Billy wrote back and said, “Dad, you won’t BELIEVE what they can do at this school! They can teach...

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John is a mailman in a small town. Everyone in the town knows him. Today he is retiring.

Every house he went to, families were greeting him and congratulating him. Most game him gifts. Flowers, cards, presents ... until he got to the last house on his final route.

A woman came to the door stark naked. She quietly took him upstairs and made sweet passionate love to him for hours u...

A young doctor had moved to a small town to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my stomach.”


The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

A flood sweeps through a small town ...

The only building not damaged by the water is the local brothel. This makes sense, because it's the building with the best lay of the land.

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Shaun is a tourist visiting a small town in the Arabian desert.

He stops into a shop one day and when he's finished, he finds that his camel is missing its legs. Shocked, he approaches a bystander and asks if he saw who took his camel's legs. The bystander squints at him, looks at the camel, and says to Shaun "ah, that would have been the Camel Leg Thief, you ca...

Supermarket franchise moves into small town

A big, nationwide operating grocery franchise opened a store in a small, rural town in the midwest. Since there was only a local farmers store across the street, the manager decided to bankrupt the local store and monopolize on the town. So he approached potential customers at the door of the local...

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and before you could snap your fingers it exploded into flames and the alarm went out to the volunteer fire departments from miles around.

When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the chemical co...

A cowboy on a long journey stops at a small town to wet his throat he ties his horse up outside the saloon and enters...

The town's folk eye him uneasily, but he makes his way to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender opens his beer and sets it down on the table. "I'd be careful if I was you. Town's folk don't take kindly to newcomers, they give em a hard time. And that's what you are is a newcomer."

"Is that...

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A small town psychiatrist is visiting a big city asylum

The resident psychiatrist is giving him a tour of the facility.

As they walk down the hallway they come to the first door on the left and the small town psychiatrist asks if he can take a look.

The resident psychiatrist says sure so they walk over and look through the little window ...

A small town near Russia and Poland

There was a small town located along the frontier between Russia and Poland; no one was ever quite sure to which it belonged. One day an official treaty was signed and not long after, surveyors arrived to draw a border. Some villagers approached them where they had set up their equipment on a nearby...

Once there was a small town

Within this town there was a man named Epydidumus Roderigo the Third, but for simplicity, everyone called him Ep. If there was one thing Ep was known for it was his antique fork, that was passed down through his family for generations and was so old and weathered that only one tine remained on the f...

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A modest country joke [OC]

I once visited a small town. It was a country town. I asked the locals "What is there to do around here?" One of the old timers said "Well, we have a brothel."

So I went to the brothel and asked "how much does it cost?" They answered "Well, these are simple country girls, it costs a chicken f...

I business man decides to open a bar in small town in Texas...

It was quiet little town where lot of people were god fearing and church going folk.

His bar began construction on a new building on the same street as one of the town churches (one of twelve) to increase their business. The local Baptist church among other god fearing folk of course were sho...

A guy walks into a small town bar

A guy walks into his favorite small-town bar and checks out the "Daily Lunch Specials" on the white board. "Alligator is the daily special?" he asks the bartender incredulously. "Where the heck did you learn how to cook alligator?" "Oh, it's easy to make," the bartender assures him. "You just toss i...

A small town in Ireland solicits bids to build a fountain in the town square. Three builders respond.

The town clerk schedules all three interviews for the same day. The builders arrive and are escorted into the clerk's office. There's a builder from Galway, a builder from Mayo, and finally Casey, a master builder from County Cork.

The first to be interviewed is the builder from Galway. "How ...

A seminary student from a small town decides to go into the big city...

He came across a street walker who said, "BJ $50". After walking another block, he came across another who also said, "BJ $50".

After he returned to the seminary, he asks a nun, "What is a BJ?". Nun answered, "$50, same as in town."

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One day at a small town STI clinic....

An 18 y/o boy who goes to his small town doctor for an STI check. After determining that the lad does not have an STI, the doctor asks him why he thought he might.

The boy tells him that he'd slept with a girl that had a reputation for being easy and thought he may have gotten something.
<...

I came from a small town where the population always stayed the same...

Whenever a girl got pregnant, someone left town.

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A small town Sheriff catches a rapist and con man.

While thrilled that he finally caught the two, he wasn't sure what to do with them as the town jail in need of repairs and he didn't have staff to watch them.

He got the idea of letting the townspeople teach them a lesson and to raise money at the same time.

The next day, he tied the...

A cowboy rides his horse into a small town

A cowboy rides his horse into a small town. His throat is parched, so he ties his horse to a pole next to a bar and goes in for a drink. He comes out a few minutes later, and someone already stole his horse.

The people of the town are looking to see his reaction, they aren’t even discreet a...

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The Naked Cowboy

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you dressed like this?“
The Cowboy says,...

In a small town, people sinned a lot.

The priest, an elderly man, was getting tired of constantly hearing the nasty term “adultery”, day after day in confessions.
So he created a code word for it. Whenever someone loses their mind, they must tell the priest in the confession: “Father, I fell.” As such, when someone confessed to have ...

A large sinkhole opens up on a small town road.

Many people fall into it and get hurt and it's difficult to get them all to the hospital.

The mayor gathers the city council to figure out a solution. The smartest city councilor suggests they park an ambulance next to the hole to get people to the hospital faster. The rest unanimously agree....

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

A cardiologist in a small town died

He was very well loved in the town, and every other doctor in the area came to his funeral. The doctor wanted to be cremated so there were a big red heart in one of the walls that open in half revealing a cremation oven behind and the casket was slowly entered into the oven through the open heart....

A politician walks into a small town...

An election campaign politician visits a small town and asks the mayor what problems do they have. He replies that they have two problems. The first one is that they have a hospital but they don't have a doctor.

The politician takes out his mobile phone, makes a call and discusses for a while...

An American biker decides to travel the world...

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Ha...

Small fishing town

There is a small town by the side of a lake where fishing is allowed and quite popular. There is a shop that sells fishing supplies. Differently skilled people use different quality baits. For example: a novice would use novice bait, a mediocre fisher would use mediocre bait, a good fisher would use...

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A Couple Owns the Only Florist Shop in a Small Town

Being a small town, they obviously have 100% of the business. One day, a group of friars opens up a competing shop on the other side of town. The couple aren't too worried though, as they make a comfortable living as is.

A month goes by though and the friars prices are so competitive that the...

Once in a small town, a man got a paralysis attack.

The doctor said he could possibly be bedridden for a long time. The expenses of the hospitalization put him and his wife in a bit of tension. Their son still had his entire life left in front of him. The son also looked very sad and scared.

The doctor, sympathized, and gave the son a lotto ti...

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Faith healer visits a small town

And sets up a prayer meeting. All the faithful are there and are ready for a miracle.

One man hobbles up and says "I've been lame since I was a boy. Can I be healed?"

The preacher says "All who believe will be healed. Now go behind the curtain"

Another man walks up and says...

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A travelling salesman drives through a small town he's never been to before...

He pulls up at the gas station where an old Native America man is sitting. The salesman walks up and says, "How!"

"Hello," the old Native guy says.

"What's your story?" the salesman asks.

"I have the world's greatest memory. I never forget a thing."

"Oh really?" the sales...

Trumpets and Guns

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.

One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it th...

A man is walking down Main Street in a small town, browsing the shops.

He goes into a curio shop, and peruses through all the knickknacks. In front of the register, there is a glass case with several expensive items. One item catches his eye; a little gold rat, slightly smaller than the real thing. He asks the shopkeeper what's the deal with the gold rat.

"Ahhh,...

I grew up in the small town of Sandwich...

Born and bread.

A small town's only barber was known for his arrogant, negative attitude.

When one of his regular customers came in and mentioned that he'd be going to Rome and hoped to meet the Pope, the barber's response was typical. "You, meet the Pope? Ha, don't make me laugh. The Pope only sees kings and presidents and queens. What would he want with you?"

A month later, the ...

A penguin grows tired of the cold winters in Alaska...

So he buys a used Corvette and heads south for warmer weather. About five hundred miles into the trip the Corvette starts to overheat.

He stops in a small town and finds a mechanic to get the issue fixed. The mechanic says he is not going to be able to look at the car for an hour, so the Pen...

Three guys were traveling for a ski trip to the mountains and had to stop in a small town to rent a room for the night.

The small mountain inn only had one room left, and it only had a single queen size bed. Being a drafty old inn, the men decided to sleep together in the same bed to conserve space and warmth.

The next morning the guy who slept on the left side of the bed said, "Oh my god, you guys, I had the ...

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A guy traveling through a small town walks into the only bar. There’s one other patron in the entire place, already drunk. The drunk man stumbles over, wraps an arm around the traveler’s shoulder and begins to talk:

“Did you see that fence on your way in? I built that fence. Do they call me Fence-Builder Johnson? No...” He downs a shot of whiskey.
“Did you see that barn down the road? I built that barn. Do they call me Barn-Raiser Johnson? No...” He downs another shot of whiskey.
“Did you see those storef...

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A traveling salesman is passing through a small town.

He sees a sign for a circus. At the bottom it says “See the amazing Goldstein”. He has some time to kill, so he figures what the hell and stops in. It’s the usual dog and pony show until the very end, when there’s a drum roll, the lights go out, and a single spot shows a table in the center ring w...

A politician was running for mayor of his small town...

The competition is tough. He is worried he will lose. This was his dream job, he wasn't going to give in. He had one trick up his sleeve.
He printed a few hundred posters of various sizes. He decided he would save money by hanging them himself. He walked around the town and hung posters up. It di...

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A reporter visits a small town in Siberia

He interviews the mayor and says: “So tell me a happy story about your people that I can report back to my editors. You know, something you guys are famous for.”

“Oh oh, I know one. So there is this mountain nearby, and anytime something gets lost on the mountain like my neighbor’s goat did o...

A speaker arrives in a small town for a conference...

A speaker arrives in a small town for a conference, and checks into his hotel. Having caught laryngitis a few days before, he sets out down Main St. looking for a doctor's office. It's a small town on a Friday afternoon so he is worried he won't find anyone to treat him, and that he won't be able ...

A guy in a small town finds out his wife is cheating on him...

In a rage, he grabs his 6-shooter and kicks open the front door of the only bar in town and yells at everyone, "Whoever is sleeping with my wife is about to be shot!"

...

Quiet voice in the back says, "You're going to need more bullets mate..."

One day in a small town, a man buys land right infront of a church

He decides to build a brothel there and when the priest and the other religious folk heard that, they strongly stood against the construction of the house of many sins. However, nobody could do anything because the land was not theirs and the man could legally build anything he wanted there.

...

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A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks, "What's wrong my friend?"

He says "My partner left me for another man."


"Ah, life can be cruel" says the local. "Take me, I built this bar with my bare hands. Foundation to chimney. You think they call me Mario the builder? No. Come with me."


Mario takes the man to the window.


"You see...

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Our small town made national news when a baby was born here that was part animal.

It had a deer face and a bear ass.

There was once a homeless man in a small town

Everybody knew him, everybody liked him, he never bothered anybody, until one day someone saw him down by the beach catching an osprey and cooking it up, and they called the cops. The cops arrived as he was finishing his meal, telling him "ospreys are protected animals around here. Sorry, but we got...

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A widow, Claire, was looking to move away from the city, and looked for a small town to live her final years in.

She drove a few hours out into the countryside to find a good place to move into. Eventually she came by Barkstown, and this peculiar name piqued her curiosity.

She drove in and was amazed by the amount of dogs there were in this town, but she was getting hungry from not eating all day.
...

A penguin’s car breaks down in a small town.

Luckily he breaks down near a garage so he walks in and ask the mechanic to take a look. The mechanic says he can take a look in about an hour and suggests the penguin hang out in the local Dairy Queen to kill some time.

The penguin walks over and orders a large waffle cone and starts to ea...

A man walks into a small town bar and orders 3 beers...

He drinks all three and then leaves. He comes back at the same time next week and orders three more, drinks them, and leaves.

After a few weeks of this the bartender says, “Hey man, I’ve gotta ask.. you only come in once a week at the same exact time, drink exactly three beers, and then leave...

Once in a small town lived a guy, who dreamt of having a car

He was fascinated by their speed and beauty, yet his parents wouldn't agree to fulfil his dream and buy it for him. So he changed various jobs, worked part-time and ran errands, anything just to get a bit closer to saving up for that final trophy. But as time came by his bank account didn't seem to ...

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One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink.

While drinking he asked the bartender if there was a room and any women around. The bartender told him he had a room for rent and then glanced over to his friends drinking at another table.

They decided to play a joke on the cowboy. As the evening drug on, the cowboy became very drunk but was...

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A rapist and con artist gets caught by the sheriff in a small town.

But he gets released because sitting presidents can't be indicted.

So a journalist visits a small town...

So a journalist visits a rural town, she is trying to find something interesting to write about and finally spots an old man sitting outside his house. She decides to walk up to this man and ask, "hello there Sir, I am interested in writing an article on this town, could you tell me something good t...

A small town has been flooded.

A man on a raft spots a priest, who has water up to his waist. The man says, "Quick father! Get on the raft before the water rises!" The priest says, "I appreciate your kind offer, but I am waiting for the lord to save me." Several minutes later, a boat spots the priest, who has water up to his shou...

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A business man is driving through a small town, on his way to an important presentation, when he realizes he's in need of a haircut and doesn't have much extra time...

He remembers there's a little barbershop on the corner so he stops, and a short while later he's back on his way.




A week or two passes, and he pulls into the little barbershop again.





"Hello again Sir." the barber says. "What can I do for you?"


<...

I live in a small town and we only have two police officers

Yet I was still unlucky enough to be pulled over.

There I was, lying face-down on the pavement in a puddle of my own puke with a bottle next to me, car door open.

'hey there, having a good night I see. could you please stand up for me sir?'

I obliged.

'right. Now I'm goi...

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There was a group of troubled teenagers bored in a small town.

There was a group of troubled teenagers who were bored in a small town. They egged their neighbor's house, TPed the one down the road, and just generally caused mischief but they were running out of original ideas to keep it fresh.

One of them decided to go down to the expressway overpass and...

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A man is passing through a small town when he decides to visit the local bar.

He walks up to the counter where he notices a large jar filled to the brim with $5 bills. Curious, the man asks the bartender about the jar. The bartender tells him “here in our lil town of ours we ain’t got much goin’ on. So we decided to host a series of challenges here. Anyone can take on the cha...

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Earlier this year, a chinese family moved into my small town...

The family had two twins who were both seniors in my class, Ving and Ling. Ving and his sister Ling were quiet to start off with, but eventually I made good friends with Ving. After talking to him for a few weeks he revealed to me that he absolutely abhored his name, and that he'd do almost anything...

So there's this barber in a small town...

So there's this barber in a small town. One day he's sitting in his barbershop and a man walks in wearing a pair of sandals, and a long brown robe with a hood. The man sits down in the barber's chair. "Excuse me," says the barber. "I was wondering: why are you dressed like that?"
"Well," says th...

A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town.

The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze.

Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths...

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada...

And he's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, *stunningly* beautiful alley he's ever come across. It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love...

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A visitor to a small town goes into the local pub...

He sees an old man practically crying into his beer at the end of the bar. He goes to ask what's wrong. The old man tells him,
"Mister, I grew up in this town. As a young man I went off to war to help protect this village from those who would destroy it. Now, do they call me Jacob the Soldier?...

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The Smiths move to a small town called Kwisition...

They're a white family, and all of their neighbors belong to various ethnic backgrounds. African-Americans (the Jacksons), Arabs (the Husseins), Italians (the Capitanis), Japanese (the Takedas), Spanish (the Garcias), Brazilian (the Silveiras), and many others.

The closest neighbors to the Sm...

Deputy Herbert was patrolling in his car down a road of a small town blanketed in snow one night.

Although it wasn't currently snowing, the temperature was well below freezing. No one would come out unless it was for emergencies. As the policeman rounded a corner, his headlights briefly passed over a vacant lot. Herbert quickly noticed something odd, and reversed his car so his headlights pointe...

I come from a small town.

I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town.

Old Rodney Dangerfield...

A man in a small town goes to confessional...

and tells the local priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have slept with a loose woman."

The priest thinks for a moment and says, "Well, son, was it Mary?"

"No Father."

"Hmm," the priest continues, "was it Fiona?"

"No, no father," the man replies.

"And was it Anne?"<...

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town.

One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.

“Miss Fitzgerald”, he said sternly. “This is no place for a membe...

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You know you live in a small town when....

....the only hooker is still a virgin.

A truck driver had stopped for dinner at a cafe in a small town

Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air.

"I smell nerd," said a regular to the truck driver. "Are you a nerd?"

The truck driver nervously said, "No, I'm not a nerd. Why?"

Another regular said, "Because around here we shoot nerds."

"Yeah," said ...

There once was a humble florist living in a small town...

He would sell his beautiful flowers to the townspeople every day. One day, some friars moved into the nearby, previously empty abbey. These friars, however, grew their own beautiful flowers to sell to pay for their expenses, and these flowers were grown in such abundance and sold so much that the fl...

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A young reporter goes to a small town to get a story

She meets with the mayor, and asks him "what's the big story around town?"

"Well, there was this young woman, very pretty girl, who got lost in the woods, so all of the men from the village got together and looked for her. When we found her, we all took our turn fucking the shit out of her."<...

The best thing about living in an isolated small town is also the worst thing.

It's all relative

A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar

He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"

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A man is driving through a small town and sees a sign in front of an old house...

"Talking Dog for Sale!"

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Darn right i do!" the Lab replies.

After the guy...

Squirrels infested a small town and each house of worship called a meeting to decide what to do.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrel problem. After much prayer and discussion, they concluded the squirrels infesting the church were predestined to be there and the church elders and congregation shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At t...

A visiting preacher in a small town...

is driving around, looking for the town's small church where he will do a community wide sermon. However, he can't seem to find it. As he drove on, he noticed a little boy walking down the side of the road. The preacher pulled over and asked him, "Hello son, what's your name? I need help finding yo...

50 Cent goes to a small town for a concert and meets the mayor.

The mayor, being a fan and trying to be casual, offers to show him around town. Before long, he realizes that 50 cent seems to be a little off, because he is asking the mayor to identify inanimate objects. He points to a sewer, and the mayor says, "Sewer." He points to a streetlight, and the mayor p...

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One day, a ridiculously bored King in a small town decided to have a contest and the winner would choose, either to marry his daughter, gold and riches... Or name anything that he desires.

Whomsoever jumps down the moat filled with crocodiles, swims to the sides and climbs back up unharmed shall win the contest and name his price.

The crowd gathered near the edge of the moat where the king shouted:

"Is anyone brave enough to entertain me?". And noone dared to respond.<...

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I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute.

Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs.

What do you call a dyslexic small town spinster who takes justice into her own hands?

A Village-Auntie

A man, wandering through the desert, comes across a small town. [Long]

Being thirsty and exhausted, he looks for the nearest inn. Soon enough, he finds one and stumbles in.
"Water," he mumbles to the bartender, holding up two fingers and glancing at the sign that reads 'Free Water'. As soon as the waters arrive, he gulps both of them down.
"You must be th...

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In a small town there's a priest who makes good friends with his congregation. One Sunday, a fisherman invites the priest to go fishing with him.

The next weekend, they get in a boat and spend the day fishing. Unfortunately, neither of them has much luck, until all of a sudden, the priest feels a huge tug in his line. With some help from the fisherman, he reels in what must be a thirty pound largemouth bass.

Forgetting himself, the fis...

A woman went into small town hardware store and told the owner that she needed a new door handle.

He fetched one and asked: "You wanna screw for that?"

She looked around the store and said: "No, but I'll blow ya for that toaster over there."

In a small town there was a poor Christian old lady. She was always asking the God to bring her groceries. One day her not Christian neighbor went out and secretly bought the lady groceries…

As the lady saw the groceries she rejoiced and thanked the lord. The neighbor was fed up and told the old lady that God did not bring her groceries he did. She yelled thank you Lord for bringing me groceries and making the devil pay for them.

A Jewish Rabbi, Hindu Pujari, and Evangelical Christian Pastor all arrive in a small town....

A Jewish Rabbi, Hindu Pujari, and Evangelical Christian Pastor all arrive in a small town holding a regional religious exchange conference.

However, upon arriving at the very last motel on the edge of town at the same time, the manager says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I only have one room lef...

A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town.

People thought he was a real shoe-in.

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