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1950 Jokes

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A gray haired Army general walks into a hotel bar and sits down next to a young, attractive woman.

They hit it off, and she likes a man in uniform, so she says, “Why don’t you come up to my room?”

The general says, “I’m flattered but at my age I’m not sure if things would work the way you hope.”

She says, “But you’re in good shape...tell me, when was the last time you had sex?”
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In the 1950's....

The Americans trained spies from birth to enter the Soviet Union and find out information. They had trained one American for 20 years, taught him the culture, the language, food, and their general way of life. By the time the American was 21, they had shipped him off to Moscow. As soon as he got off...

What do u call someone born in 1950 who commits a mass bombing

A baby boom-boom-boom-boomer

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's.

Apparently they opposed integration.

The class of 1950 gets together for their class reunion. Not many people are left, but two of the 10 people to attend were Harry, an 88 year old widower, and Esther, an 87 year old divorcee.

Over the course of the evening, they had a great time chatting about old times and their families. They each felt a real connection and by the time the night was out, Harry had proposed and Esther has happily accepted.

The next morning, Harry woke up and was frustrated to realize that he cou...

1900: Let's filter coffee.

1950: We need to filter cigarettes.

1970: We should really filter water.

2015: I want to filter my face.

Abby's roommate had a blind date.

"How did it go?" Abby asked her.

"Terrible!"she answered. "He showed up in a 1950 Rolls Royce."

"Wow!" remarked Abby. "That's a very expensive car. He must be very rich. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

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As my flight touched down in Birmingham AL the pilot said to adjust our watches for the local time.

How the fuck am I supposed to adjust my watch back to 1950

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A salesman comes knocking...

After a fair bit of time and some noises that sounded like stumbling about, the door opens.

Coming from the house was loud jazz flute music and the distinct smell of weed.

The salesman looked down to see a kid standing impatiently at the door with what looked to be an exhausted meth-h...

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[Long] Paperboy

So it is 1950 and the paperboy knocks on the door to collect money for the papers he delivers and a woman answers the door, wearing just a sheer nightie.

He says "that will be $2.50 for the papers".

She reveals a breast and says "is their anything I can offer you instead".

So he...

So a lady saw an army general..

So a lady saw an army general, looking quite charismatic. She instantly felt like hooking up with him. So she kissed him held his hands and took him to a room. On the way she asked him, "so tell me general when was the last time you made love to a woman?"

The general, still savoring the taste...

Time zones are amazing

It's a different time all around the world. For example in some parts of the US it's still 1950

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Soviet Meat Queue

A mixed group of Soviet Citizens are in line outside a butchers in Vitebsk, 1950.

The butcher comes out, and says:

> Comrades, due to problems with the supply structure, there is limited meat today. All Jews must leave the line.

The Jews leave the line.

Time passes....

People in town had noticed that a certain miser never invited anybody to dinner.

"I'll bet," said a prankster, "that I can get an invitation."

The wager was accepted, and our prankster went to see the rich man the next day, at a time when he knew that the miser would be at the table with his family.

He rang the bell, and told the servant who opened the door that h...

Last Sunday I woke up with a sudden tooth pain.

I thought "Oh great, no dentist is open on Sunday, I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get this dealt with." But, just in case I decided to Google dentists open on Sunday in my area. Well, surprise, surprise! I get this search result that says "Pain-free Dentistry without novocaine! We'll teach yo...

A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "That's on Wabash in Chicago."

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "I'm not gonna drive...

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