UPJOKE
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Upholster Jokes

I was told some bad news last month. A good friend of mine had fallen into an upholstering machine and suffered terrible injuries.

The good news is he's now fully recovered

Came up with this today in the car, please have mercy

Why was the upholsterer at the Sheriff's office?

He was upholsting the law.

My dad was working on some furniture and fell into the upholstery machine.

But don’t worry, he’s fully recovered.

Santa Claus had started feeling like he was losing some of his mojo at one point...

... so in recent years, he had taken to periodically stopping during his annual Christmas Eve present run to take in words of wisdom from spiritual leaders from various backgrounds all over the world, hoping that someone could re-ignite that spark for him that made Christmas special.

Eventual...

We saw a patient in the emergency room today...

He had fallen into an upholstering machine.
It was touch and go for a while but...

 

...he's fully recovered.

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