A ship, sailing past an island, finds a man there who had become stranded alone years earlier. The commander disembarks to rescue the man and sees three huts.

"What's that first hut there?", he asks.
"Oh, that's my house", replies the castaway.
"What about that second hut there?"
"That's my church."
"And what about the third one over there?"
"That?", replies the man, disdainfully. "That's the church I used to go to."

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp ... [long]

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp.

He was urinating on one of the camp’s flowerbeds when he was arrested and given a punishment to move a pile of some 1000 bricks from a shed to a nearby site on the camp where some construction ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother was in the kitchen listening to her five year old playing with his new train set in the lounge.

She heard the train stop and her son saying "All of You bastards who want off, get off now 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get on now 'cos we're going down the tracks"

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this...

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expres...

The Archbishop of Canterbury

The Archbishop of Canterbury was making his first official visit to the U.S.A. His advisers advised him that he would need to be careful in answering any questions. As he disembarked from the plane a group of media reporters descended on him, and one thrust a microphone at him and said 'Say Archbish...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman and her 5-year old son are taking a bus home.

It's late in the evening and their stop last one on the bus route. All of the other passengers have disembarked, so it's just the woman, her son, and the bus driver. The boy looks out of the window and sees scantily-clad young women standing on a street corner.

"Mommy," says the boy, "what ar...

So there's a plane that's half criminals and half master tradesmen...

The plane is half full of criminals and half full of master craftsmen.

The pilot comes on over the PA and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is overloaded, we need to bump half of you to another flight."

After deliberating with the mechanics and copilot for a while, the pilot comes ...

A guy asks a girl to the carnival.

She says yes! So they meet up and head out for their date.

He wasn't the only one with this idea. There were so many people there that there were lines around the block to get in.

When they were finally admitted, they wanted to go on some rides. So they found the Ferris wheel line and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favourite little Johnny joke. NSFW

Little Johnny was playing with his new train set when mum over hears him say "all you bastards getting off, fuck off, all you bastards getting on hurry the fuck up"

She comes running from the kitchen and is aghast at the language. She tells him that the f-word and the b-word are not appropria...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No kidding

After graduating from the Naval Academy, my first ship I was assigned to was a battleship. The captain briefed us on our duties and then we disembarked. It was a very uneventful mission. We went. We did what we needed to do. We came back. When we got back, the captain had all of the newbies tie down...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

About the two hour delay...

One day, a woman was cooking dinner for her family, as her son plays with his trains in the living room. She then hears her son say, "All you bastards getting off here, get the fuck off my train! All the fuckers getting on my train, get your ass on here now!" The mom then says, "Son, you can't use t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.