What do you call a Chinese underage hooker?

Sum Yung Ho

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3 underage guys walk into a bar

They order 3 beers but the bartender turns them down. They look sad so he feels sorry for them and makes a deal. If they have a combined penis length of 50 inches, they can buy their beer. They accept the deal and start measuring. The first guys has a 25” penis, the second 24 and the last one has 1”...

Getting caught dating someone underage isn't a big problem.

It's a minor problem.

A psychologist, a general, and a government official are tasked with reducing underage crime in a sample population put under their authority. Whoever drops it the most in a year, wins. After the year is done, they have a meeting to discuss their results.

The psychologist starts: "We lowered underage crime by over 20% in the last year, mostly by introducing counseling courses, and social assistance programs."

The General goes: "Crime is down by over 30%. Turns out, strict discipline and a one-strike rule can greatly affect people's habits."...

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Nowadays teens could just look up porn on the internet. Back in my day, they only had porn in the stores. But they wouldn’t sell it to us because we were underage. So we had to pool our money and give it to the homeless guy outside of the store.

He then would strip and play with himself for us. It wasn’t terrible but my point is you kids got it easy.

An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."

The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"

The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"

"Pop," goes the wease...

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Watson walks in on Sherlock having sex with a clearly underaged girl

Watson: "Bloody hell, Sherlock! What'd you think you're doing with that girl. She looks like she's in middle school!"






Sherlock: "Elementary, my dear Watson."

I know a funny joke about a prison for underage offenders.

But it's juvenile.

Long: An underaged ginger walks into a bar...

The bartender ask for his ID. The ginger stops, making a big show of reaching into his wallet and pulling out an obviously fake card.

"What do you think yah trying to pull?" says the bartender, "This ain't no underage drinking bar. Scram punk!"

So the ginger gets kicked out on the stre...

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

What do you call an underage who works in a quarry?

A Miner.

What do you call underage rhyming?

Statutory Rap

How did the underage mathematician get drunk?

He put his root beer in a square glass

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

Last week I found out my cousin was into underage girls.

I reported him to the feds, but when they arrived on the scene they wouldn't do a thing. They let the freak run free.

Oh well, at least he didn't enjoy his tenth birthday party.

What's the most effective method of suicide?

Supplying the POTUS and the Royal Family with underage girls.

My wife called me on the phone, breathless, and said, “Where are you?” I said, “I’m at the pub.”

She said, “I think the baby is coming”

Me: I don’t think he can get in. He will be underage.

"Barely legal".

Because "almost underage" sounds a bit creepy.

I hate it when people call their girlfriend their “partner in crime”

We get it man she’s underage

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Jared Fogel was sentenced to 15.6 years in prison for having sex with underage individuals

He was just happy to get anything under 18

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I don't believe Prince Andrew paid for an underage sex slave.

That sponger's never paid for anything in his life.

My wife of 15 years recently passed away

I guess she was underage anyways

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A prominent local pastor drives a young female congregant to a remote spot ...

... he starts kissing and feeling her up, then he starts feeling around under her skirt. Just then, the police arrive.

Cop: "I see what you're doing. She's underage. Get out of the car now."

Pastor: "But officer! I'm Pastor Fluff!"

Cop: "I don't give a fuck if you're up her ass,...

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar...

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel.

"Sir, you look extremely young. I can't serve you even a single beer."

"Oh c'mon. You can't just slide me one?"

"Can't and will not serve to anyone under age....

How many Priests does It take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.... one to screw it in, the other to inappropriately molest a underaged child.

(Dark humor) Don't drink and drive

John Baker was 17 and hot headed. An underage drinkers and a hardcore partier, his parents were always furious with him for this. They tried keeping him from going out, but nothing seemed to work. The last straw was when John got caught driving drunk. The car was a wreck, and John was in even worse ...

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Three men walk into a bar.

The first man looks like he hasn't had any sleep in days. His clothes are ragged and torn, and his face is clammy and unshaven. He sits down on the stool and slumps over in a groggy state.

The second man is in a similar state, but is wearing a suit. His tie is strewn over his shoulders, and h...

We could have the Notre Dame rubble cleared up in a day...

Just tell the priests there’s an underaged boy trapped somewhere under it.

While we are sharing terrible time wasting pun jokes... this is the worst one I have ever heard

A friend of mine told me this one some years ago. It is the worst joke I have ever heard in my life.

A mad scientist, up on his secret sea-side mountaintop lair, is working on a life extension serum. He has nearly perfected it, and is about to begin testing it on dolphins.

Unfortun...

The last date I had I thought was like Allstate I thought I was in "Good hands".

Turns out she was underage so they switched me to State Farm.

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The police told our bartender he had to stop serving babies.

"Why, just because they're underage?"

"No, because they don't fit in the glass."

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There's this guy that gets suicidal everytime one of his pets dies.

So he goes to a therapist to see if he can conquer the emotional response. After several sessions his therapist tells him to get a porpoise. They're normal lifespan will allow for him to pass on before the porpoise would.

He also tells the guy that he must feed this porpoise baby seagulls to ...

The Egg

I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of...

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love...

But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...

An eleven year old walks into a bar...

Just kidding, he's underage, he can't do that.

God asked St Peter why he let the last three men into heaven....

God says: "Why did you let the priest who stole from the church in?"

Saint Peter says: "The priest showed letters from the congregation documenting how he spent his last 30 years not only paying back triple what he took, but serving the church for no compensation. He has repented."

The...

I had a dream

But she was underage.

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At a job interview, the boss asked me, "What is your greatest weakness?"

I glanced down at my wheelchair and said, "Surely you must be joking."

"Not at all," he replied.

"Alright then- underage fanny."

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A joke told to me by my psychology professor...

I'll start by letting you know the backstory to this. It was the first day of class and my professor was giving a brief overview of physiological studies and theories. He then went into a very long description of a supposed psychologist who studied the training of dolphins and it went something like...

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette walk into a bar.

They're all underage, and hence, they have fake ID's. The bartender see them and knows they are underage, so he call the cops. The redhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave.

They run out the back door and see a barn. Inside, the redhead notices...

[Discussion] Anyone have any jokes for this situation?

Firstly, i'm not exactly sure if i'm allowed to post this type of thread. If i'm not, please redirect me to a subreddit that could possibly help before spewing mindless hatred.

A friend of mine has started dating a new girl recently and she's two years younger than him and she's underage. The...

The legal age of drinking in Alabama has been changed to 31...

Representatives hope that it will keep underage drinking out of high schools

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Mr. Cheerio, the Fruity Cheerio (long, but it's worth it)

Once upon a time, there was a Fruity Cheerio. He was a poor cheerio, and lived on the streets. He had no family, and begged other cheerios for money every day. One day, Mr. Cheerio decided to pray to the Cheerio God.

"Dear Cheerio God. I am your humble Cheerio servant. I kindly ask that you ...

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