How do you punish a vegetarian in the olden days?

You burn them at the steak

Modern times:- Success is when your "signature" turns into "autograph", In olden times Success is

Success is if your "murder" turns into "assassination".

Back in the olden days, Meteors were NOT allowed on Earth...

After a long run of protests and lobbying by Meteor advocate groups, all of Earth now has meteor rights.

How was the common drug addict punished in the olden days?

He was stoned

In olden days,

when the gods were wont to take on human form and tarry with mortals, the Norse god of thunder, he of the hammer Mjölnir, espied a comely young Norsewoman and betook him to her bed. Being a god, he was able to "bring her to Valhalla" seven times over the course of the evening.

In the morning,...

A joke told by an old man.

I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.

Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left ...

A woman needs a ticket for a train

It's in the olden days, when traveling across the country meant getting a berth on a sleeper car of a train. She arrives at the station, but finds the train is sold out; there are no empty cars. She is desperate to get a ride, so the ticket seller tells her there is one empty bed, but it is in a dou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moses and Jesus fishing...

One day Moses and Jesus were fishing, catching a ton of fish they were getting a little bored. Moses says to Jesus "Wanna make a bet?" since Jesus is always down for a bet, he couldnt refuse. Moses says "Its been five thousand years since my last miracle, I bet you I could still pull it off" So he w...

The tale of Hobbin & Noggin

One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them i...

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