UPJOKE
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A winner joke

What's excessive male masturbation called?

A-dick-tion

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

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A Drill Sergeant goes to a strip club...

A drill sergeant stationed at Fort Benning heads down to the strip club on a friday night. He's having a good time, having a few drinks. One of the strippers takes a liking to him and offers a private dance. He agrees and they head to the back room. While she's dancing, she asks him what he does for...

Did you hear the pasta makers in Italy revolted?

It was a ravioli-tion

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[NSFW] [LONG] A soldier returns home from Iraq...

Greeted by his wife, he hugs her tight, and she's ready to jump his bones. He stops her however, and tells her, "Baby, while I was away, I want you to know, I didn't stray in thought or body. I spent every waking moment thinking of you, and in that process, I developed a new trick." This certainly h...

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Little Johnny’s teacher was starting a lesson on multi-syllable words.

She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few children for examples of words with more than one syllable. Jane, do you know any multi-syllable words? After thinking for a while, Jane proudly responded, “Monday”. Great, Jane, that has two syllables, Mon-day! Does anyone know any other words? I...

What happens if the Queen of England starts coughing?

Prince Charles Corona-tion.

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Military drill joke

A Marine recruit is standing on line getting hygiene inspected by his squad leader.

The recruit says to his squad leader “Hey, I‘ve got something really weird to show you,” he says as he pulls down his PT shorts. “Platoon atten-TION!” He yells, and boom his dick immediately gets rock hard. <...

A fight happened in my Christian Minecraft server

Nothing too big.Just a little "Frick"tion

A truck driver got arrested today...

He had vehicles of mass dis-truck-tion.

what do you call a gathering of nuns

a convent-tion

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