I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

A man, his wife and the doctor are in the hospital while the wife gives birth

Husband: are you ok?

Wife: I am ok, I’m really not, this feels great, this is the worst pain of my life

Husband: what does this mean?

Doctor: don’t worry, those are just the contradictions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Military drill joke

A Marine recruit is standing on line getting hygiene inspected by his squad leader.

The recruit says to his squad leader “Hey, I‘ve got something really weird to show you,” he says as he pulls down his PT shorts. “Platoon atten-TION!” He yells, and boom his dick immediately gets rock hard. <...

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A Drill Sergeant goes to a strip club...

A drill sergeant stationed at Fort Benning heads down to the strip club on a friday night. He's having a good time, having a few drinks. One of the strippers takes a liking to him and offers a private dance. He agrees and they head to the back room. While she's dancing, she asks him what he does for...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] [LONG] A soldier returns home from Iraq...

Greeted by his wife, he hugs her tight, and she's ready to jump his bones. He stops her however, and tells her, "Baby, while I was away, I want you to know, I didn't stray in thought or body. I spent every waking moment thinking of you, and in that process, I developed a new trick." This certainly h...

A fight happened in my Christian Minecraft server

Nothing too big.Just a little "Frick"tion

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Little Johnny

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable.
Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?
After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.
Great J...

A truck driver got arrested today...

He had vehicles of mass dis-truck-tion.

What would you call it if a duck conducts a kidnapping?

Ab-duck-tion

what do you call a gathering of nuns

a convent-tion

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