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Thay Jokes

I don't recommend buying thay book about the farmland that the farmer didn't finish seeding

It's full of plot holes

I had a lucky chess board when i was a kid

Even thought i never considered myself a great chess player i always seemed to be winning every game i played on that board. It was my lucky chess board. But what was really special about thay board was where it was produced. It was, czech made.

Have you heard about the female rapper who only battled during her menstrual cicle?

Thay say she has a mean flow

Thuperheroeth

A guy was walking down the street when he glanced down an alley and saw that it was almost entirely demolished. In the center of the rubble laid a man with all his teeth missing and blood pouring from his mouth.

The bystander ran up to the injured man. "What happened?"

"Well, I wath ...

This time America was the best in flattening the curve

Thay just got confused between horizontally or vertically

A wife and husband are going on a road trip

After a few hours, the wife decides thay she is tired

Wife: Y'know honey, i think i might take a nap

The husband gives her a nod, and after putting her chair into a comfortable position for sleeping, she dozes off

A while later, she wakes up,and notices that they are completely ...

Rick, a salesman, specilized in real estate. As he was talking to a client names Down about a property. The client said to Rick...

"Never in my life have i seen such a pretty house!"

"Gonna buy it?" asked Rick.

"Give me the paperwork" said Down. "I'm gonna."

"You made the right choice." said Rick, while grinning a grin. What he had neglected to tell his client was thay the upstairs was completly damaged....

At a programming job interview, I was surprised to see the interviewing manager was a snake...

Nevertheless, I decided to roll with it, presenting myself as any other interviewee would. However, at the end, I couldn't help but ask:

"So, how did a snake end up working here?"

The snake smirked and replied "Ith really quith thimple. I goth my thart in the IT department and worked m...

USB Inventor

When the inventor of the usb dies thay will lower him slowly stop flip the Casket and put him in all the way

Mike Tyson is playing Jeopardy and the clue is "The part of a flower's stamen where pollen is produced".

He's the first to buzz in. Alex Trebek calls on him:

Alex: "Mike?"

Mike: "What is the answer?"

Alex: "You can't ask me, Mike. You have to give me the answer."

Mike: "I am! What is the answer?"

Alex: "You have to give *us* the answer to the clue, Mike, we can't tell...

The Vampire King Had Three Sons

There once was a vampire king. The king knew he was going to die soon so he wanted to give one of his three sons his kingdom.
To determine which son, he sets up a competition, 'Whoever drinks the most blood in one day, earns my kingdom.'
After one day, the three sons returned. The king asks t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.

Poor Tom.

When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.

When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's wife loves to go commando...

When she's wearing a dress and one day she goes to the mall to get a new pair of shoes. The salesman helps her try on a few pairs and notices jer lackbof underwear. He says "Miss I could eat that pussy full of ice cream."

She gets offended and storms home to complain to her husband and deman...

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