I don't recommend buying thay book about the farmland that the farmer didn't finish seeding

It's full of plot holes

Have you heard about the female rapper who only battled during her menstrual cicle?

Thay say she has a mean flow

What is something with 8 eyes, 8 legs, and 8 hands?

8 pirates

My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.

Edit: Look, I don't want to be one of those redditors who say 'thank's for the gold kind stranger' every time they get awarded, but after seeing this post rise I get it why they do that. For me, whose posts never g...

A wife and husband are going on a road trip

After a few hours, the wife decides thay she is tired

Wife: Y'know honey, i think i might take a nap

The husband gives her a nod, and after putting her chair into a comfortable position for sleeping, she dozes off

A while later, she wakes up,and notices that they are completely ...

At a programming job interview, I was surprised to see the interviewing manager was a snake...

Nevertheless, I decided to roll with it, presenting myself as any other interviewee would. However, at the end, I couldn't help but ask:

"So, how did a snake end up working here?"

The snake smirked and replied "Ith really quith thimple. I goth my thart in the IT department and worked m...

Rick, a salesman, specilized in real estate. As he was talking to a client names Down about a property. The client said to Rick...

"Never in my life have i seen such a pretty house!"

"Gonna buy it?" asked Rick.

"Give me the paperwork" said Down. "I'm gonna."

"You made the right choice." said Rick, while grinning a grin. What he had neglected to tell his client was thay the upstairs was completly damaged....

This time America was the best in flattening the curve

Thay just got confused between horizontally or vertically

The Avengerth

A guy was walking down the street when he glanced down an alley and saw that it was almost entirely demolished. In the center of the rubble laid a man with all his teeth missing and blood pouring from his mouth.

The bystander ran up to the injured man. "What happened?"

"Well, I wath ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Long)(Dirty) A fly was hovering 6 inches above a stream...

Below that stream was a fish. He watched thay fly intently, saying 'if that fly dropped about 6 inches, I could swim up and have some lunch.'

On the bank of the stream was a bear. He sees the fish is distracted and says to himself, 'if that fly drops about 6 inches, that fish will jump up, a...

Mike Tyson is playing Jeopardy and the clue is "The part of a flower's stamen where pollen is produced".

He's the first to buzz in. Alex Trebek calls on him:

Alex: "Mike?"

Mike: "What is the answer?"

Alex: "You can't ask me, Mike. You have to give me the answer."

Mike: "I am! What is the answer?"

Alex: "You have to give *us* the answer to the clue, Mike, we can't tell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grandmother went to the doctor with a knife in her knee...

She explained that she wanted to kill herself
"The why did you stab youself in the knee?" aksed the doctor.
"Thats how thay told me" repled the grandma, "two fingers under the tits".

USB Inventor

When the inventor of the usb dies thay will lower him slowly stop flip the Casket and put him in all the way

The Vampire King Had Three Sons

There once was a vampire king. The king knew he was going to die soon so he wanted to give one of his three sons his kingdom.
To determine which son, he sets up a competition, 'Whoever drinks the most blood in one day, earns my kingdom.'
After one day, the three sons returned. The king asks t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.

Poor Tom.

When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.

When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but ...

Irish Nessie

Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, thay have their own Nessie.

It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells.

It's a knock-less monster.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's wife loves to go commando...

When she's wearing a dress and one day she goes to the mall to get a new pair of shoes. The salesman helps her try on a few pairs and notices jer lackbof underwear. He says "Miss I could eat that pussy full of ice cream."

She gets offended and storms home to complain to her husband and deman...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.