I didn't know what to expect going into my ECT session
To be honest I was a bit shocked when I got there.
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I...
...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
A man wakes up the mental ward
Relax, sir, you've just had ECT.
Electrical shock therapy. After a shock to the brain, you have temporary partial memory loss. Patients often forget about the things that cause them stress and tension, allowing to them to relax and get better.
Now that ...
The wage gap isn’t real
Men just go for higher paying jobs like doctor, CEO, lawyer ect. Where as women pick lower paying jobs like female doctor, female lawyer, and female CEO
An elderly couple next to me are talking to each other at a restaurant.
As they are talking, the man keeps calling his wife the sweetest names like Honey, Deer, Sweetie ect ect ect. When his wife excused herself to use the bathroom, I leaned over and said "I love how you talk to your wife. You call her the nicest things. It appears you two have been married for quite...
TYPEWRITER FOR SALE...
Per ect ondit on
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Porn Parody Movie Titles
My friends and I play this game when we drink or when we wanna pass the time while at work. Looking for some more to use. Pornoize movie titles, examples
Pacific Rim Job
Lord of the Cock Rings
Every 12 hour shift I work, I always give 110%
ten percent the first hour. ten percent the second hour. maybe take a nap. ten percent the fourth hour. ect...
long. Two cops lead an unfortunate man into a padded cell
Instantly the men in white coats grab him, wrench his arms behind his back and, when he screams in pain, the psychiatrist tears down his trousers and jags him with a needle.
As they're carrying the unconcious body out the younger of the cops, shocked, says:
"Was that really necessary? ...
3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy.
MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect...
OK so, The martians come to Earth...
It turns out they're GREAT guys. We all get along so well and spend the time learning about each other's planets. What's the weather like there, what are sports like here, recipes, ect. Eventually, it comes to where they ask how we go about reproducing and we are of course curious in the Martian way...