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Tarot Jokes

I was playing poker with tarot cards last night.

I got a full house and 3 people died...

Guy asks a Tarot Card Reader, "How's Business?"

"Unpredictable", she replied.

I had to give up my career in tarot cards reading..

There was no future in it

My life right now is like a Tarot deck

21 and a Fool

What’s the difference between a beach and a tarot deck?

One has coast guards, the other has ghost cards.

What do you call a suicide bomber that can tell the future?

A tarot-ist

Always use a proper deck of cards

A little while ago some friends and I wanted to play poker but only had a set of tarot cards.

I got a full house and 3 people died...

What kind of dinosaur is best at seeing the future?

A tarot-dactyl!

Damn Carnies

A redditor is at a carnival when he walks up to the fortune tellers tent. Inside sits an old gypsie lady infront of her crystal ball and tarot cards. Not wanting to be scammed first he tries to haggle the price down. When she won't budge he asks for some proof she can tell the future and he will com...

Psychic

Desperate to know her future, a woman decided to go visit a psychic.
In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the tarot cards laid out before her, the psychic delivered the bad news...

'There is no easy way to say this so I'll be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a v...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler went to see a clairvoyant

In the mid-stages of the Second World War, Adolph Hitler felt that his plans were getting bogged down, so he went to see a clairvoyant.

"When will I rule the entire world?", he asked.

The clairvoyant consulted her crystal ball, looked at the tarot, double-checked his birthday and astro...

My take on a classic.

Donald Trump visited a fortune teller one day. He walked in past all the mystic objects and sat down. The Teller read his palm, flipped her tarot cards, and stared into her crystal ball with a pensive look on her face. "What, what are you staring at?" The Donald asked with sweat on his brow.
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