when i was five, my dad put snowballs in the blender to make a slushie

i miss snowballs, she was a good cat.

What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snowwoman?

Snowballs.

Good friends are just like snowballs.

They go away if you pee on them.

Why did the snowball cross the road?

To get to the other size.

Why did Mickey Mouse get hit with a snowball?

Because Donald ducked.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs!! Even years after hearing this, it's still my favorite winter joke.

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Dear Midwest Diary...

Aug. 1

Moved to our new home in Chicago. It is so beautiful here.

The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered

with snow. I LOVE IT HERE!

Oct. 14

Chicago is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are

turning all different colo...

The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son.

To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward

Golf (long)

Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed long an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but still didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked "What the hell is taking so long?"
"My wife is up in the clubhouse." Bob explained. "I want to make t...

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[Long, but original] Two brothers are catching up over a drink...

The older brother Dave is successful, hard-working and married with a family, a dog and a cat. The younger brother Mike is a real nice guy, but he's kind of a fuck-up. Having been too busy to catch up for weeks, they decide to meet up at the local bar.

Dave says, "Man, I'm sorry we haven't ...

Did you guys hear about a terrorist group flying down south for a giant snowball fight against penguins

It was all over the news, the headlines read "Isis huge in Antarctica".

"Hey Dad! What's one snowball plus one snowball plus one snowball?"

"Snowman"
- My 7-year-old

What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snowwoman?

Snowballs



Courtesy of my daughter who comes home and asks if I want to hear a "dirty joke" she overheard from some elder school mates.

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A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major...

... found himself at the Snowball last year. There was no shortage of hot idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached him for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."...

Just some jokes I found.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

A man asks a farmer near a field...

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A man from Illinois

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-ma...

Why can't penguins play football?

Because theres snowball

Christmas Jokes!

Saw these Christmas one-liners. If everyone is drunk at Christmas, these might be funny!

Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: a wrapper!

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why is Santa so jolly...

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