UPJOKE
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Good friends are just like snowballs.

They go away if you pee on them.

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen

Snowballs

When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie...

I miss snowballs, she was a good cat.

Two kids were outside during winter throwing snowballs at each other,

The snow women found it funny,
The snowmen? Not so much.

What’s the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman?

Snowballs.

The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son.

To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Dear Midwest Diary...

Aug. 1

Moved to our new home in Chicago. It is so beautiful here.

The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered

with snow. I LOVE IT HERE!

Oct. 14

Chicago is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are

turning all different colo...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Man goes on vacation

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.

His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he...

Why did the snowball cross the road?

To get to the other size.

Did you guys hear about a terrorist group flying down south for a giant snowball fight against penguins

It was all over the news, the headlines read "Isis huge in Antarctica".

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs!! Even years after hearing this, it's still my favorite winter joke.

Military exercise

Drill Sargeant: Listen up ladies, you see these sticks? Pinecones?, Those are your training weapons!

John: So a stick is our rifle? And pinecones are grenades?

Drill sargeant: Look who's catching on, yes If you believe hard enough you won't need an actual rifle or a grenade. Not just s...

Why can't penguins play football?

Because theres snowball

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major...

... found himself at the Snowball last year. There was no shortage of hot idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached him for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."...

Golf (long)

Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed long an eternity. He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but still didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked "What the hell is taking so long?"
"My wife is up in the clubhouse." Bob explained. "I want to make t...

What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snowwoman?

Snowballs



Courtesy of my daughter who comes home and asks if I want to hear a "dirty joke" she overheard from some elder school mates.

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