What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

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A Syrian kid in France.

A Syrian kid and his refugee family move to France. On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him.
"No! From now on you are French and your n...

What do pigeons have in common with the Syrians?

They both go 'coup coup coup'

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Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at McDonald's the first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practise and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it's Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby...

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A Chinese, American, German, and Syrian are on a train

They're all looking out of the window.


The Chinese trying to show off throws a bag of rice out of the window, "We have a lot of rice".


The American grabs a bunch of dollar bills and throws them out, "WE have a lot of money".


The Syrian tells the German glaring at ...

What do you call a Syrian flying a plane

A Pilot

At a university exchange programme, an American student met a Syrian student.

“How are the things going on in your country right now?”

“Not good. We still don’t have proper medical facilities, there are plenty of homeless people, lots of religious fanatics and mass murders keep happening everyday.”

“The things aren’t that great here as well,” replied the Syrian ...

I showed some Syrian kids my new drone today.

They were all blown away by it.

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.

The Russian takes a case of fine Vodka, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
...

What face does a Syrian make when he has a bad day?

Assad one.


On a side note, I hope prosperity upon all the Syrians who have been displaced.

Get in on Syrian real estate now!

The markets are exploding!

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Just had some syrian ask me the way to the mental institution,

Fucking asylum seeker.

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an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian....

an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodia...

Best syrian joke

All jokes Assad, things are getting a bit Syrias

What's the Syrian girl doing on the swing?

Annoying the sniper.

An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...

The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.

The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"

The American replies, "We have too much of these."

---

Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.

The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"...

Why don't Syrian kids ever take showers?

They wash up on shore.

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A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

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Did you hear about Syrian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up!

What did the Syrian say about the airline food?

He'd say it was awful if he could get on the plane.

An Iranian, Iraqi, Libyan, Somalian, Sudanese, Syrian and a Yemenite walk into a bar in america.

Just kidding, they can't.

What do the Syrians and Fred Flinstone have in common?

They both have to put up with a lot of Rubble.

Why don't Syrian Refugees play baseball?

because they don't know where home is

Q. What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

So a Korean man, a Syrian man, and a Mexican man are all in a truck. Who's driving?

Immigration.

What do you get when you let 25,000 Syrian refugees into Canada during the winter?

Isisicles

After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying...

"As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."

How do you play Syrian Bingo?

B-52, F-15, B-1...

Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border.

How did they train it to do that?

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What's the most consumed beverage by Syrians?

Saltwater.

The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children.

May I recommend swimming lessons?

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

Dave walks into a bar and sees President Donald Trump and Vice-President Mike Pence at a table, deep in discussion.

He doesn’t want to interrupt, but they see him, invite him over and they soon get to talking.

“We’re on track to bomb the Middle East,” excitedly claims the President. “We’re going to reduce those towelheads to a shadow of their former numbers. We’re going to kill 3 million Syrians, 4 millio...

I was fed up with being burgled and robbed every other day in my neighbourhood...

The alarm system was of no use so I tore it out and deregistered from our ineffective local Neighbourhood Watch.
Instead, I've Planted a Syrian, Afghanistan, Yemeni and Iranian flag in four corners of my front garden.
Now, The city police, The National Security Bureau, MI-5, MI-6, The CIA And...

Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a sniper. He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into t...

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The leader of China is growing restless so he tries to find a country that wants to fight his army, so he called Sweden...

The leader of china calls Obama and says: "Hey man, we havn't had a good fight in a while, how about we see who has the best army?"
To which Obama said: "Look pal, you know me, we never say no to a big show down but we have so much on our plate right now. The election, the syrian crysis, superbow...

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Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anyth...

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An Australian, an American, a Canadian, a Briton, a Welshman, a Norwegian, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Frenchman...

a South African, a Japenese, a New Zealander, a Papa New Guinean, an Irishman, an Italian, a Scandinavian, a German, an Austrian, an Arabian, a Syrian, a Hungarian, a Russian, an Indian and a Spaniard all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we can't serve you without a Thai."

Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

The first one says, "I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."
"Oh I know," says the second women, "I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."
The third woman nodded, "Me too. My Omar was a suicide bomber in Gaza, so sad."
The fi...

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Three leaders of nations are on a plane...

Barack Obama, Shinzo Abe (PM of Japan), and Bashar Al-Assad (Syrian president) are cruising in Air Force One. As they're flying over the US, Barack turns to the other two and says "This is how much I love my people" and throws a quarter out of the plane.
When they're over Japan, Shinzo says "Wel...

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My wife told me it's not only about the great sex, it's also about the conversation afterwards.

Turns out she's right. I went and fucked her sister - came home and we talked about the Syrian crisis.

It was a nice night.

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