What do you call a political movement in a Pakistani factory?

A child labor party

What’s the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-qaeda outpost?

I dunno man I just fly the drone.

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian...

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, ...

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The police arrive to find two Irishmen with a dead Pakistani.

The Police ask, “Do you know how this man died?”
The Irishmen reply, “No we don’t know anything about the man!”
The police then ask, “Do you know what his name was?”
The Irishmen reply again, and they say “I told you I don’t know anything about the man! We just went drinking with him a lot ...

A Pakistani man found the image of prophet Muhammad in his tub of margarine.

He showed it to his Chinese neighbour who said

"I cannot believe it's not Buddha"

Indian army have arrested a pigeon - on suspicion of being a Pakistani spy

Apparently he was trying to stage a coo

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher, who always yelled at him saying "you are driving me crazy, Bashir".

One day his mother went to check how he was doing at school and the t...

Pakistani Girlfriend

My Pakistani GF wants to blow me tonight....
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared ...

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An Indian and two Pakistanis sat on a plane.

An Indian got a seat between two Pakistanis on a plane. Relaxing, he took his shoes off.

Soon enough, he got hungry.

"Hey, I'm going to get myself a snack. You guys want anything?" He asked the Pakistanis.

The man to his right said he would like a Coke.

"Of course." said ...

Whenever I'm feeling down at work

I spray my Pakistani colleague in the face with some furniture polish.



It never fails to brighten Mahmood.

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What's the difference between a Pakistani school and a terrorist camp?

I don't fucking know I'm just a drone pilot

A Pakistani cleric issued a new fatwa that orders you to stay in your homes and study the scriptures.

As expected, they're calling it the *Quran*tine.

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One evening on the outskirts of London

a millionaire Englishman was walking with his dog when suddenly a Pakistani came out of the bushes and fired three shots and killed his dog.

Surprised and shocked, the Englishman said: "Why did you do that ?"

Pakistani: *"Your wife gave me 5000 Euros and said Kill the son of a bitch"*...

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

On a flight from Dubai to NYC, I met a cheerful gentleman from Pakistani. He stressed that Pakistan is now a new country, peaceful & totally against terrorism

To prove his point, he decided not to hijack the plane.

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Two Pakistani guys move to Australia…

When they get off the plane one of the Pakistani guys says to the other,

“You know what? We’re both from Pakistan but seeing as we’re in Australia why don’t we immigrate for real? I mean really become true blue Aussies! Here’s my idea: You and me part ways for six months and try and soak up t...

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[Long] Two Pakistani politicians Sharif and Shahbaz moved to London where they made friends with a English guy named Paul.

They used to go all over London with him when suddenly one day ...
Paul disappeared.

The two went to the police and lodged a complaint.

The police asked them if they could give some vital clues about Paul that would help find him.

Shahbaz said, "Paul was handsome and tall."...

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a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )

A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! Th...

New York City is the archnemises of Introverts

It always seems like it's a creepy introvert that wants to destroy the largest American city.


After 9/11, even Osama Bin Laden escaped to a cave and then a Pakistani stronghold to have his alone time and recharge.


But like any good friendship, that introvert has that one ex...

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom a...

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's...

What do you call a Pakistani Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup.

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A Pakistani soldier

was telling his friends about his training and first Sky dive with US Air Force

"When I got to the door of the plane and looked down 20,000 feet below, I froze and couldn't jump."

"So the 6'6" tall African-American instructor unzipped his fly and dropped out his 12 inch dick and said, ...

As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...

"It was just a prank bro"

A guy walks through a Pakistani village

He sees a man dusting off a carpet from his shop and asks "What's the matter, it won't start?"

A large group of Pakistani soldiers...

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues f...

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital...

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital.

A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and s...

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What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in Los Angeles?

Lahore.

An Indian and Pakistani farmers are neighbour's.

One day, a chicken from the Indian's farm lays an egg on the Pakistani's farm. The two farmers argue about who the egg belongs to since it was the Indian's chicken but it was on the Pakistani's farm. So the decide to have a contest to strength and tolerance to decide who keeps the egg. Both farmers ...

Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

Two Pakistani beggars in London

Two beggars in London
Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London ...
Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spe...

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I don't see a problem with calling an Australian an aussie, a Pakistani a paki, a Scotsman a scot...

Or a Frenchman a cunt

I have a Pakistani girl friend.

Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?

A moo-slim.

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Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon.

Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon. One sat in the window seat the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Indian got on and took the aisle seat next to the Pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Pakistani in the w...

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't kno...

What's the name of the Pakistani man who's seen everything and been everywhere?

Binder Dundat

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

Musharraf - "Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush - "What buildings? What people?"

Musharraf - "Oh, what time is it in America...

Dead Pakistani

The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.

St. Peter: “What do you want? ”
Pakistani man: “I’m here for Jesus.”
St. Peter: “Jesus, your taxi’s here!! “

A Canadian, an American, and a Pakistani are wandering through the desert

They're wandering along hoping to find some water or a ride out of the vast desert. As they trot along, the Canadian kicks a metal lamp that was buried in the sand. They pick it up and rub it, then out pops a genie.

The genie says, "since there are three men present I will grant you all one ...

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Diplomats from every country in the world are on a cruise

Diplomats from every country in the world are on a cruise when suddenly the engine fails. The captain announces that three people must sacrifice their lives and jump off board to make sure the others can reach home safely.

After a long wait an honourable Japanese man jumps over , willing to ...

I just disconnected my home alarm and left the neighborhood watch program.

I raised 2 Pakistani flags at each corner of the house and a black ISIS flag in the middle of the yard.
I have the FBI, NSA, MI6, MI5, RCMP, CSIS and a few other agencies watching the house 24/7.
I’ve never felt safer.

An insect falls into a mug of beer

Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out.

American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away.

Indian : Sells the beer to the American, insect to the Chinese and gets a fresh beer for himself.

Pakistani : Accuses t...

An Afghan lands at a Pakistani airport, and walks up to the immigration desk.

He introduces himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as

Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

The surprised Pakistani Officer asks:

"But there is no sea in Afghanistan.

How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"

The Afghan replies:<...

A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

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So an Englishman marries a Pakistani girl...

An Englishman by the name of Alfred always wanted a pure bride. A virgin, a girl who's never been with another man. But everywhere he turned, he didn't find such thing. One night at the pub, he struck up a conversation with a Pakistani, who tells Alfred about her pure, untouched sister. Alfred decid...

A man walks through the Central Park in New York City

Suddenly he sees a dog attacking a small girl. He runs towards them, starts a fight with the dog and finally kills it. So he saves the life of the girl.

A policeman was watching them, walks to the man and says:

You are a hero! Tomorrow in the new York Times the first headline will be: ...

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A man is hosting an emotions party.

In order to get into the party, guests had to be dressed as their favorite emotion.

As the host is getting ready for the party, he hears the doorbell.

He opens the door and sees a couple dressed all in red. The man says, "And what are you supposed to be?"

The couple replies, "...

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!
He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG"

Man says i'm not American
Report changed
"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"

Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani
Breaking News:
"Terrorist killed ...

A man walks into a grocery store.

A man walks into a grocery store. After getting all his groceries, he sees something interesting at the check-out counter. Not knowing what it is, he asks a worker. The worker replies, “Why, that’s a thermos! It keeps your hot stuff hot, and your cold stuff cold!” Intrigued, the man decides to buy i...

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An English joke

American, Frenchman, Englishman and Pakistani all on top of Eifel tower.

American throws aload of money over the edge. "What did you do that for?" the others ask. "We have so much money in the states that I can afford to."

The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of wine over the top and...

Found this in my timeline...

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, th...

Baby Confusion

An English, a Pakistani, and an Irish couple all simultaneously arrive at a hospital, all of the wives in the couple going into labour at approximately the same time. All of the babies were delivered healthily after fairly routine births but unfortunately, after placing the babies in their cradles, ...

A two-seater plane crashed in a cemetery in Lahore

Pakistani police has so far discovered 25 bodies

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Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.

We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service...

Offensive warning

An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man are waiting at a hospital as their wives had just given birth. A midwife comes in and explains that the name tags have been messed up and they will have to work out which baby belongs to who. The English man, by right, goes first and chooses what is cl...

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Do you have a small 2$ to spare?

Do you have a small 2$ to spare? Tariq is a 10 year old Pakistani from Pakistan who lives in a tiny village and has to walk 7 miles everyday to bring water for his family. Tariq only has one arm and can barely walk because his legs are uneven, so he has to do the long commute on a bike. Unfortunatel...

Ticket Please!

A group 3 Pakistanis and a group 3 Indians were all heading to the Cricket World cup via Train. Upon entering the train the Indian group saw the Pakistanis just pay for a single while they bought 3 individual tickets.
When the conductor came along the Indians saw that all 3 Pakistanis quickly fil...

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Star Trek

Pakistani President Mr. Zardari just finished giving a speech at the UN, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Obama. They shook hands and walked together in the long corridor when suddenly the Pakistani said,
"You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."...

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Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anyth...

Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon.

Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."


BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."

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