The 48+ Best Pakistani Jokes

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

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Two Pakistani guys move to Australia…

When they get off the plane one of the Pakistani guys says to the other,

“You know what? We’re both from Pakistan but seeing as we’re in Australia why don’t we immigrate for real? I mean really become true blue Aussies! Here’s my idea: You and me part ways for six months and try and soak up t...

What’s the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-qaeda outpost?

I dunno man I just fly the drone.

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What's the difference between a Pakistani school and a terrorist camp?

I don't fucking know I'm just a drone pilot

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The police arrive to find two Irishmen with a dead Pakistani.

The Police ask, “Do you know how this man died?”
The Irishmen reply, “No we don’t know anything about the man!”
The police then ask, “Do you know what his name was?”
The Irishmen reply again, and they say “I told you I don’t know anything about the man! We just went drinking with him a lot ...

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a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )

A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! Th...

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An Indian and two Pakistanis sat on a Plane.

An Indian got a seat between two Pakistanis on a plane. Relaxing, he took his shoes off.

Soon enough, he got hungry.

"Hey, I'm going to get myself a snack. You guys want anything?" He asked the Pakistanis.

The man to his right said he would like a Coke.

"Of course." s...

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! ...

Pakistani Girlfriend

My Pakistani GF wants to blow me tonight....
I'm not sure if I should be excited or scared ...

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom a...

An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...

He is immediately stopped by Pakistani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"

Afg...

How does a Pakistani man find a goat in the mountains?

How does a Pakistani man find a goat in the mountains?

Quite lovely, actually.

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The World's Best Ethnic Joke.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinean, a Dane, am Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Columbian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a L...

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A Pakistani soldier

was telling his friends about his training and first Sky dive with US Air Force

"When I got to the door of the plane and looked down 20,000 feet below, I froze and couldn't jump."

"So the 6'6" tall African-American instructor unzipped his fly and dropped out his 12 inch dick and said, ...

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital...

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital.

A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and s...

An Indian and Pakistani farmers are neighbour's.

One day, a chicken from the Indian's farm lays an egg on the Pakistani's farm. The two farmers argue about who the egg belongs to since it was the Indian's chicken but it was on the Pakistani's farm. So the decide to have a contest to strength and tolerance to decide who keeps the egg. Both farmers ...

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

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Go kill that son of a bitch

One fine morning an English billionaire was taking a walk with his dog. Suddenly a Pakistani came out from the bushes and shot the poor dog three times. The dog died.

The billionaire screamed at the killer, “Why did you do that?”

The killer answered, "Your wife gave me £ 50,000 and to...

Dead Pakistani

The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.

St. Peter: “What do you want? ”
Pakistani man: “I’m here for Jesus.”
St. Peter: “Jesus, your taxi’s here!! “

A Pakistani man found the image of prophet Muhammad in his tub of margarine.

He showed it to his Chinese neighbour who said

"I cannot believe it's not Buddha"

You've got to be careful while making jokes about Pakistani food on Reddit.

You don't want to end up with bad Korma.

Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?

Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store

What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?

A moo-slim.

I have a Pakistani girl friend.

Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops.

A large group of Pakistani soldiers...

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues f...

Indian army have arrested a pigeon - on suspicion of being a Pakistani spy

Apparently he was trying to stage a coo

Found this in my timeline...

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, th...

Two Pakistani beggars in London

Two beggars in London
Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London ...
Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spe...

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher, who always yelled at him saying "you are driving me crazy, Bashir".

One day his mother went to check how he was doing at school and the t...

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What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in Los Angeles?

Lahore.

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Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon.

Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon. One sat in the window seat the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Indian got on and took the aisle seat next to the Pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Pakistani in the w...

What's the name of the Pakistani man who's seen everything and been everywhere?

Binder Dundat

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't kno...

Three men, English, Russian and Pakistani are stuck on a plane..

The plane's about to crash, so they try to make the plane as light as possible.

The Russian man has an idea, and throws all his Vodka out the window. "We have plenty that in country"

The Pakistani opens his bag and throws out his guns, C4 etc. "We have plenty of those in our country"...

An Indian man, a Pakistani man, and an English man walk into a maternity ward.

The doctor tells them there's been a mix up and he doesn't know who's baby is who's. The Indian man runs in and grabs the only white baby and starts to walk out. The English man looks really confused and says "I'm pretty sure that's not your baby, it looks white so it's mine". The Indian man says "I...

A Canadian, an American, and a Pakistani are wandering through the desert

They're wandering along hoping to find some water or a ride out of the vast desert. As they trot along, the Canadian kicks a metal lamp that was buried in the sand. They pick it up and rub it, then out pops a genie.

The genie says, "since there are three men present I will grant you all one ...

Why did the Pakistani cook get fired?

He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite.

Translated Pakistani Joke: A man walks into a store and asks for a live chicken for a party

The store owner gives him a chicken, the man pays, and he leaves.

Sometime later, the man comes back with the chicken, furious.

The shopkeeper asks him, “What’s wrong with the chicken? Why have you brought it back to me so angry?”

The man yells and says that one leg of the chick...

A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from."

Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's...

So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

Musharraf - "Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush - "What buildings? What people?"

Musharraf - "Oh, what time is it in America...

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Do you have a small 2$ to spare?

Do you have a small 2$ to spare? Tariq is a 10 year old Pakistani from Pakistan who lives in a tiny village and has to walk 7 miles everyday to bring water for his family. Tariq only has one arm and can barely walk because his legs are uneven, so he has to do the long commute on a bike. Unfortunatel...

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!
He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report
"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG"

Man says i'm not American
Report changed
"Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"

Man says:
Actually I'm Pakistani
Breaking News:
"Terrorist killed ...

A pakistani food company is launching a new product...

Its called,
Allahu Snackbar

A pakistani cabbie called me a racist

I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists

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An English joke

American, Frenchman, Englishman and Pakistani all on top of Eifel tower.

American throws aload of money over the edge. "What did you do that for?" the others ask. "We have so much money in the states that I can afford to."

The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of wine over the top and...

I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer

I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.

I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.

The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service...

New York City is the archnemises of Introverts

It always seems like it's a creepy introvert that wants to destroy the largest American city.

After 9/11, even Osama Bin Laden escaped to a cave and then a Pakistani stronghold to have his alone time and recharge.

But like any good friendship, that introvert has that one ex...

Baby Confusion

An English, a Pakistani, and an Irish couple all simultaneously arrive at a hospital, all of the wives in the couple going into labour at approximately the same time. All of the babies were delivered healthily after fairly routine births but unfortunately, after placing the babies in their cradles, ...

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