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For my 16th birthday, my parents tried surprising me with a car

but they missed

Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly , they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"

"You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him! He's th...

I didn't know JK Rowling was an audiophile, but it isn't surprising

She's obviously very opinionated about trans coding

What did 0 say to 8?

"Nice belt"

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcef...

Ten Surprising facts doctors don't want you to know about subway tracks!

the 3rd one will shock you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fat man wants to lose weight...

A fat man is looking for a way to lose weight. He has already tried all kinds of slimming diets and fitness programs, but they didn't work for him. One day, he comes across an ad that says: "New revolutionary method - weight loss 100% guaranteed. Satisfied or your money back!"
He thinks: "Since ...

Mahatma Gandhi was once thrown out of an Indian bakery. Not surprising really . . .

He was widely known for being naan-violent.

One thing surprising is that they don't have television in Afghanastan

It's because of the Tele-ban

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man saw an ad in the newspaper for a free talking dog...

He thought it was impossible, so he went to the address to check it out.
Standing at the fence to the backyard of the house was a normal-looking German Shepherd.

The man, wanting to prove the ad wrong asked the dog, "so are you the talking dog?"

Surprisingly, the dog replied, "yeah...

All this WFH time has led to a surprising discovery: I do my best work in the kitchen.

I'm counterproductive.

Why's it so surprising when friends from Barcelona overstay their welcome?

Because nobody expects the Spanish Imposition.

What is the most surprising, deranging, and panicking thing for a reddit user ?

Unprepared blue cheese.

(This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

On the Bulgarian edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire...

The new contestant sits on the chair. He just grunts at the host's introduction questions, so they get straight to the game.

First question - Which city is the capital of Bulgaria:

* A. Sofia
* B. Moscow
* C. London
* D. Paris

Respondent: "I'd like to ask the audience."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Most YouTube ads are only unskippable for 5 seconds, so they try to cram something surprising + the brand name in the first 5 seconds of the ad.

Hence you get ads that are basically Samuel L. Jackson screaming "Capital One, mothafucka!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Surprise!

A farmer and his wife are entertaining the local bigwigs when their son runs in and announces to his father in a loud voice, “Dad, dad, the bull’s fucking the cow.”

After a moment of shocked silence, the farmer turns to his son and calmly says, “Next time, son, be a little less explicit. You ...

It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money.

You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.

It’s hardly surprising that 48 ‘no’s couldn’t stop Kavanaugh yesterday.

They didn’t stop him in 1982 either.

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