Surplus Jokes - 18 Hilarious Surplus Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's difference between excess and surplus? [NSFW]

Excess: The part of the boob which does't fit in your mouth

Surplus: The second boob

what do you call a surplus of straws

exstraw hahah lol

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the difference between excess and surplus

Excess is a boob you cannot contain in one hand..

Surplus is the other one..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Excess vs. Surplus

So this is a true story from my Air Force days and I would like to say it is a testament to how things have changed over decades, but this dates to circa 1983. I was a Lieutenant in a role in my squadron responsible for, among many things, materials that we had leftover from different projects we c...

How does the French Military advertise its surplus WW2 rifles?

“Brand new, only been thrown onto the ground once.”

Egg surpluses in France are a huge problem

They’re a big oeuf

What do Christians do when they have a surplus of thoughts and prayers?

They force schools to reopen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do they store surplus belly buttons?

The naval reserve.

^^^I'm ^^^so ^^^sorry...

A guy goes into a military surplus store...

..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, "I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"

How was Bill Clinton able to maintain a steady surplus during his presidency?

He had a great Al Gore rhythm.

Even though it’s a surplus store, I’m pretty proud of myself for going into Costco and purchasing only ONE item.

A single package of 160 AA batteries.

Obesity is nothing

... but surplus gone to waist.

Jim and Ted were let go after 15 years working at the bra factory so they headed down to the local Employment office…

There they each filled out some forms. They both had worked the same quality assurance positions on the line down at the “Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder Inc.”. Afterwards they each met with a jobs counselor to try and find new employment they could embark on. As the final step they met individua...

Gandhi was a well-traveled man..

Unfortunately, the majority of these travels were taken on foot, causing his feet to build up an incredible amount of hardened skin

To make things worse, his minimalist diet (and eventually his age) led him to become very frail.

In light of this, he still offered a surplus of insight t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis

Subject: Women

Symbol: Wo

Discovered by: Adam

Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.

Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the middle ages, there was a boy named Eddie, who was born as just a head.

His mother, concerned for his well-being, visited a witch in the woods near their house, seeking a remedy for the poor boy's affliction. The witch felt charitable, looking upon the poor body-less infant, and told Eddie's mother that not only would the boy be fine, she would also make him a body! How...

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scottish man all board a plane to America....

As they leave the airport from Heathrow and fly to america the Englishman has a bright idea. He turns around and says to the other two of his friends, "why don't we throw some money out of the plane for good luck". Brilliant idea they both turn around and say. So the Englishman goes first. He throws...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] On a midnight train to Georgia...

A man and a woman, total strangers, find themselves sharing the same double bunk-bed passenger cabin on the 10:15 PM Amtrack express to Atlanta due to a mix-up at the ticket office.

It's the middle of winter. There's frost on the window, and the shitty Amtrak maintenance means the heat is ou...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.