Superglue Jokes - 22 Hilarious Superglue Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mate Paul said he superglued his asshole as a dare once

I'm pretty sure he is full of shit

I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together and at first, I started to panic but then I remembered that...

...it’s always going to be okay!

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I accidentally gave my wife superglue instead of Chapstick

She's still not talking to me.

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I think my wife has been putting superglue on my water gun collection.

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

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The other night I superglued my thumb and forefinger together...

Dont worry, everything is ok

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I knew a girl who mixed up KY Jelly and superglue

I asked her how it happened but her lips were sealed

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I gave my mother superglue instead of her lipstick.

She didn't even complain afterwards.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a mega church pastor and a crazed marine carrying a butt plug covered in superglue?

One wants to heal your soul for money.

The other wants to seal your hole for Gunny.

I first met my now-wife during an internship in a superglue factory, we were involved in a spill accident.

It was a real bonding experience.

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I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan...

...someone is going to be wrong.

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It's been three weeks since I put superglue on my friend's pen.

But he still can't let it go.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Masturbating with superglue

It's hard to pull off

What's the difference between superglue, a tuna, and a piano?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

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I've been reading the most interesting book on the history of superglue

I just can't put it down ......

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My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

She can’t seem to let it go.

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Superglue comes with a warning: "Caution - Instantly bonds skin." But a whole shipment got out with a misprint: "Caution - Instantly bonds kin."

That's how I ended up marrying my first cousin.

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I put a padlock on the refrigerator and superglued the key to the bottom of my big toe making it difficult to access the food.

I’m on the Key Toe Diet!

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I left a tube of superglue in my pocket when I did laundry yesterday...

...it was a viscous cycle.

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I'm a man trapped in a woman's body

Now I know not to keep the superglue and the lube in the same drawer.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Doctor, please prescribe the best medicine for covid-19"

"I'm prescribing Superglue. Apply it on your ass and sit at home."

I got my wife an amazing new lipstick that makes you lose weight.

It's called "Superglue".

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Honeymoon Night

John and Sally had married yesterday. Today, at breakfast, the whole family shows up except the newlyweds. The aunts are snickering and asking "Huh, I wonder why they're not here...".

John's younger brother speaks up: "Actually, I think I know..." but gets shushed by the family.

At lu...

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