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Shearing Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm.

So he asks him, "you shearing?" The other answers "nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."

I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....

Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian notices a New Zealander having sex with a sheep.

He says "Hey mate, shouldn't you be shearing that sheep?"

The New Zealander replies "Fuck off, I'm not shearing it with anyone!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dirty Sheep Shearer

Baz the sheep shearer had just completed a six week 'shed', a live-in shearing job working with a gang on a farm with thousands of sheep. His back was sore, he'd worked long days and he was looking forward to heading home to his wife and kids.

When he walked in and caught up with his family, ...

[nsfw] i was driving along a country road in new Zealand and saw a farmer f***ing a sheep

I called out to him "mate, shouldn't you be shearing it?"

He said "shearing it? I ain't shearing it with nobody"

A New Zealander is walking down the road with a sheep under each arm...

A local man spots him and asks 'Are you shearing?'

To which he says 'No, I'm gonna sleep with both of them '.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A New Zealander sheep shearer gets a job in Australia.

At the lunch break of his first day in the shearing shed, he drops his dacks, pulls his cock out, grabs a sheep and starts fucking it. The Australians look at him, roll their eyes, shake their heads and mutter, "Bloody Kiwis."

Then one old bloke approaches him and says, "Mate, you're suppo...

An Australian was walking down a country road in New Zealand when...

he happened to glance over a fence and see a farmer going at it with a sheep. The shocked Aussie climbed the fence and walked over to the fellow. "You know, mate," he pointedly remarked, "back home we shear those."

The New Zealander looked at the intruder defiantly and said, "I'm not bloody s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian on holiday in New Zealand sees a farmer crouched over the rear of a sheep.

"Are you shearing that sheep?" He asks.

"Fuck of cunt I'm not sharing it with anyone, especially an Aussie" the Kiwi replies.

An Australian is taking a walk in New Zealand...

when he looks into the field beside the path and sees a Kiwi farmer having his way with a sheep. He is a little shocked, so he walks over and tells the farmer "You know mate, in Australia we shear sheep."
The Kiwi farmer looks up at him and exclaims "Not here in New Zeelund bro, I ain't shearing...

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