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Super Glue Jokes

Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me

I accidentally gave my wife super glue instead of Chapstick

She's still not talking to me.

I replaced my best friend's lipstick with super glue.

She's not speaking to me.

I once met a girl who confused a tube of KY Jelly with super glue

I asked her how it happened, but sadly her lips were sealed.

My friend used to boast about how much super glue he could eat

He now keeps his mouth shut

I’m reading this hot new book on the power of super glue.

I just can’t make myself put it away now, I'm too stuck on it.

I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of lube

It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.

So a dart player came up to me and said "Why did u put super glue on my dart? '...

I said "You can't just let it go can you"

My boys and I plan to rob the super glue factory..

By the way the plan looks, things will be hard to pull off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy who accidently used super glue instead of lube while having sex?

He's now a man trapped in a woman's
body..

My friend is still mad at me for putting super glue on his baseball 10 years ago.

He still can't let it go...

I was really unsuccessful and unpopular until I stood on a globe covered in super glue.

Now I have the world at my feet.

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where’s mom and dad?"

She replied, "They're up in bed," so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma the same question. She replied with the same answer and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play....

Today I figured out how to make my own lipstick.

That was when I thoughtlessly chewed on a tube of super glue.

Russian joke.

A kid homes home all excited and tells his mom that their teacher was carrying a gallon of super glue, dropped it, slipped and glued herself to the floor.

"Omg" says mom, " did you guys get her off"

"Yea" says the kid, the brave kids did it twice

A sticky encounter

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: "Can I see your dad?" Johnny: "No, he's in the shower." Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?" Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too." Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?" Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stolen joke

One time I had a kid come over to my house and tell me that my house was small and boring. So then I told him that my house was small because I had an amazing secret basement full of games and toys that I never tell anyone about. This kid wanted to see it really badly at that point, so I told him to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Farmer's Daughter

On a cold rainy evening, a salesman's car ran out of gas. Not wanting to spend the night in the car, the man sought help. Within 5 minutes the salesman spotted a barn yard light and proceeded to it. He knocked on the house door and an older farmer greeted him there.

The salesman explained he ...

Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch

Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch over at Dave’s house when the conversation turns to postal delivery workers.


Dave, disgruntled about the subject, says “I order a lot of books to get delivered here daily, but I always get a slip saying that they missed me, even if I’m home to ...

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