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Suffocation Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You can die of suffocation by staring at someone's rear.

That's right. You can get ass-fixated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried erotic suffocation on the wife the other night when we were having sex.

She obviously didn't like it. She's been lying there for 5 days now giving me the silent treatment!!

Why did the man commit suicide by helium suffocation?

He wanted to go out on a high note.

Baby Roach: "Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?"

Papa Roach: "Suffocation. No breathing."

A man gets drunk...

and stumbles straight into a baptism being performed on the river bank.

The priest asks the man, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk agrees, and the priest dunks him into the water. The drunk is gasping for air.

'Have you found Jesus, Brother?'

'No mate, I haven't'...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man were captured by a serial killer.

The serial killer said “I will kill you all, but as a final act of kindness I will let you each decide how I will kill you.”

The Englishman accepting his impending death said “I want to die by suffocation, but please make it quick.” So the serial killer picked up a pillow, smothered the face ...

A man walks into a library

and asks for a book on suffocation, and the librarian says

"Would you like a bag with that?"

What did the professional diving roach say to his captain right before being lost to the sea?

Suffocation, no breathing, this is my last report.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men died simultaneously, and went to heaven

They decided to share their last minutes on earth before moving on, so the first one started by saying:

So I was near my house, driving my Ferrari, and I saw a male figure in my bedroom, so I rushed in to see my wife naked, I looked down and saw a man trying to steal my car on the way, so I g...

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