UPJOKE
toy story 2toy story 3joss whedonralph guggenheimsteve jobstom hankstin toytoy story 4the lion kingbuddy filmjohn lasseterandrew stantonjoel cohenalec sokolowpete docter

Toy Story Jokes

Rumor is that Toy Story 4 will focus on

Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.

I bought my 2 year old son some toys from the movie Toy Story.

It seemed like a good idea at the time because he loved those movies. Turns out, he didn't like the toys. Wailing, he threw a figurine at the wall, shattering it.


It was a total buzzkill.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie, so he decides to try it out at dinner.

He asks his son, "Did you go to school today?" The son replies, "Yes," and the robot slaps him. The son says, "Alright, I went to the movies."



The father asks, "What did you see?" and the son replies, "Toy Story 4." The robot slaps him again, and the son says, "Okay, okay! It was an a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father buys a lie detector

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Toy Story felt was so incomplete.

Who let the toys out?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They just made a Toy Story

It’s called “You’ve got a friend in me”

I’m so excited for the new Toy Story action figures!

I’m getting a woody.....

What beer do the cast of Toy Story drink?

Buzz Light.

Why was Andy from Toy Story's girlfriend disappointed?

Andy's "Woody" wasn't quite what she was expecting.

My can transform from one Toy Story character to another depending on how much I wash them

They go from a Woody to a Stinky Pete

I'm really thankful that Disney/Pixar brought us Toy Story

It means I can go to Toys R Us and walk out with a Woody without it being awkward.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to make a Toy Story parody .

I'll name it "You've Got a Friend In Me"

Apparently rick Astley is really stingy with his Disney DVD collection.

Yeah he’ll share toy story, but he’s never gonna give you Up.

I asked Rick Astley to lend me some Pixar movies......

He said you can take Cars, you can take Toy Story but I'm never gonna give you Up.

Every morning, I stay in bed until I've watched Toy Story all the way through from start to finish.

That way I always wake up with a morning Woody.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man finds a robot on sale (sorry if this is a repost)

The man inspects the robot and finds a sign that says "Knows when someone is lying."

The man, interested, takes the robot home. He decides to test it at dinner on his family.

That night, the robot attends the meal with the man, his wife, and the son.

The father starts a convers...

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man purchases a lie detector that will slap you if you are lying...

A man purchases a lie detector that will slap you if you are lying. The detector is a small robot. He tries it at dinner for the first time.

Father: 'Hey son, what you've done this morning?'

Son: 'I was in school.'

*Robot slaps son*

Son: 'Okay, I've been watchin a movie i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lie-Bot

A father comes home one day with a large cardboard box. When he unpacks it, the family's startled to see it contains a humanoid robot.

"This is a lie detector 'bot," the dad says. "It's programmed to slap anyone who tells a lie." He looks at his son and says, "Timmy, what were you watching o...

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think they need to come out with an R rated Toy Story where the mom's toys all come to life too.

The theme song should still be "You got a friend in me".

I was phoned by Rick Astley, who asked me to borrow some Pixar DVD's...

I said "Fair enough You can have 'Toy Story', 'A Bug's Life' and 'Finding Nemo' but I'm never gonna give you 'Up'".
5 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.