Statistically Jokes - 16 Hilarious Statistically Jokes

A teacher is explaining the concept of statistics with an example: "Statistically, every time I breathe out, someone dies."

Student: "Have you tried antiseptic mouthwash, sir?"

Statistically there are

Statistically there are 2 popes per square kilometer in the Vatican

I was shocked to read this. Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves

aren't Happy

It’s statistically proven that having a ladder in your home is more dangerous than a loaded gun

that’s why I have 12 guns in case some maniac tries to sneak a ladder in here

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Statistically, one out of 10 of your friends is gay.

I think it might be Steve, he's really sexy.

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.

This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.

Statistically speaking, 6 out 10 statistics are wrong.

Including this one.

Statistically 100,000 people die each year playing Russian roulette ....

It's mind-blowing!

Statistically speaking

9/11 Americans won't appreciate this joke.

Statistically...

9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

Did you know that, statistically, only one in seven dwarfs...

Is happy?

Statistically speaking, the data I have collected indicates my dad jokes are quite funny...

I guess you can call it dada science...

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid

No wonder even their parents call them beta.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The professor of statistics and logistics.

So a friend told me this joke. It was created by Norm MacDonald. Hopefully I don't butcher it. Also, I'm on mobile, so I apologize if it's weirdly formatted.

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A new guy moves into a cul de sac. One of the neighbors comes up to him and starts small talk.

"So what...

I was looking up the history of past US Presidents and I realized a startling fact.

Statistically, an American President has been indicted on an average of more than two felonies.

I came up with a really great statistics joke, but no statistician wanted to hear it.

So I asked them why and they told me, statistically speaking, most of what you say is boring.

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