UPJOKE
personnelstavefacultywandbatonofficestickflagpolemacenewsroomsceptrealpenstockcrutchofficersemployees

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the gates of Heaven, St. Peter says, “aight y’all. We’re under-staffed…

…and frankly I’m just trying to get fired at this point. We can’t just let any goody-two-shoes into Heaven anymore and I just don’t give a fuck so you’re only allowed in if you’ve had a particularly brutal death. Because I’m St motherfucking Peter and I said so.”

This fat guy walks up. “I thi...

I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed

Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.

What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?

A pastryarchy.

Why did Sweeney Todd’s wife have such a hard time keeping her restaurant staffed?

Employee turnover.

An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant ran a personnel shop staffed by three lower ranking sergeants.

Every day at 3:00, the Chief would grab his hat, tell his staff that he was going to a meeting, and leave. After several weeks of this, one of the sergeants figured it was safe to leave work early - they'd never get caught because the Chief never returned. At 3:15 he told his coworkers, "Let's go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. The elder nuns insisted that only they would attend to him. The next evening there was a crash and a scream!! The sister ran out the door as fast as she could.

Sister Marry Cla...

I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work

She responded "yeah, and you have the same problem at home"

I Want To Open A Bath House Staffed Entirely By Minorites

I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It has been mentioned that when cruises start sailing again, the buffets will all be staffed with servers instead of just serving yourself.

The saddest job will be the person who has to push the buttons on the pop dispenser.   Why?   Because it is "soda pressing".


I will see myself out.

I went to a restaurant run by dwarves and the service was terrible

In their defence, they're short staffed

A blind man walks into a bar. He sits down at the bar and the female bartender walks up and asks what he wants.

He orders a beer and asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blonde joke?

She says “Hold on buddy. You clearly are not aware, but this bar is completely staffed by women. And I’m a blonde, the woman you’re sitting next to is blonde, and the bouncer behind you is blonde. You sure you still w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an airplane's cockpit if it's staffed by female pilots?

The Box Office.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Willy Wonka close his chocolate factory?

He was short staffed.

My wife always gets upset when I bring my work home

Is it my fault we’re short staffed down at the morgue?

Why did the restaurant get rid of their high-top tables?

Because they were short staffed…

Why couldn’t the North Pole make enough toys this year?

Because they are short-staffed!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a business owner that has a small dick?

Short-staffed.

Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?

He was short-staffed.

Our town's male strip club has employed a lot of poorly endowed men.

Ironically, they aren't short staffed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother has a tiny penis, but he always has more girlfriends calling him than he can handle

He says it's 'cause he's short-staffed

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

Did you hear about the shop that only employed dwarves?

It had to close because it was short staffed.

The restaurant I work at has a lot of short girls who can't reach the higher up shelves and constantly ask for help.

I guess you could say we're frequently short-staffed.

What do you call a?...

What do you call potato who's high?
A. A baked potato
What do call a wizard who doesn't have enough minions?
A. Short staffed

Ps. This is my first post, be gentle with me.

Venezuelan and American in Hell

A Venezuelan and American arrive in Hell at the same time, Hell is short-staffed, and so they have orientation together. They are told part of their punishment is eating buckets of human excrement. Normally they would be segregated by nationality, but since they are together now they can each choose...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three co-workers stopped for a drink after work on Christmas Eve

One drink led to another, and they progressed to some serious partying. Later in the evening, they were on their way to another spot when their drunken driver crashed the car, killing them instantly.

The three find themselves in front of the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. He tells ...

A German, an Italian and a Chinese man arrive at a logging camp up north looking for work.

The boss sees the strapping young German and says, "you look strong and fit, here's a chainsaw, go join the fellers and help cut down some trees."
Next he looks at the Italian, a bit of a belly on him and looking well fed, and says, "You look like you know your way around the kitchen, go help in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

A group of people from different nationalities found themselves stranded on a remote and beautiful island. The party consisted of:

-Two Italian men and one Italian woman

-Two French men and one French woman

-Two German men and one German woman

-Two Greek men and one Greek...

A man dies and is sent to hell.

A man dies and is sent to hell. Satan greets him and shows him a series of doors. "While our job is to torture you and make you suffer for all eternity, we also treating our guests well. Hence, we would like to offer you a choice in how you would like to be tortured," said the devil.

Satan op...

The origin of the angel on top of the tree

It must've been the coldest winter ever, with the worst snow storm this world has ever seen brewing in the North Pole on the Eve of Christmas. Santa was bedridden with a nasty stomach bug, and his workshop was short-staffed as many of the elves had contracted ~~herpes from sodomizing each other~~ th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James from Bulgaria lived trains.

James from Bulgaria loved trains since he was a boy. He particularly loved how fast they could go. As a child he enjoyed playing with model trains and even owned an old conductors hat that he wore everywhere.

When he grew up he worked very hard and eventually became a train driver. And he lo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.