An old man is walking around town sprinkling an unknown powder as he goes...

Thinking the old man is senile, some of the townspeople inform the local police to ensure his safety. A police officer approaches the man and asks, "Sir, why are you spreading powder all over the town?" To which the old man replies, "To keep the elephants away of course." Confused, the police man sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Smoking Grandmas & 1 Condom

Jane & Arlene are outside the nursing home, having a smoke. A storm blows in and starts sprinkling. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end and puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.



Arlene: What the hell is that?

Jane: It's a condom. This way my cigarette don'...

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them.

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn’t need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappear...

You are now fish!

Catholics don't eat meat during the 40 days of lent. Now it so happened a Muslim carpenter moved into a catholic area. Now this guy loved his barbeque and he'd be out in his garden almost daily to enjoy his afternoon feast. Now lent started and the smoky smell wafting from his garden had many people...

An old man was playing golf on a cloudy day.

The man wasn't very good at golf. Usually, he just hit the ball into a nearby River or another hard-to-reach place. This time, though, he had gotten 4 hole-in-ones, with 2 holes to go.
The 17th hole was by a river. The man putted the ball right into the river, making a large splash. "Agh!" He exc...

How to catch a polar bear.

The way you catch a polar bear is going onto a frozen lake, cutting a hole in the ice, and sprinkling some green peas in the hole so they float on the surface of the water.

When the polar bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!

My favorite Lent joke

An atheist named John lived in a small Christian village. During lent on every Friday he would grill a deer and the whole village could smell it.

After a few years the village elders got together and said this has to stop and they need to convert John.

The elders eventually convince ...

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