I hinted to my friend that if he wanted to improve his billiards game, he should get better equipment...

...sadly, he took my cue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eighty-five year old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash and went to the Pearly Gates.

They had been in good health for the last ten years, mainly as a result of the wife's interest in healthy diets and exercise.

St. Peter welcomed them into Heaven and took them to their small palace in heaven- complete with a large bedroom, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, and billiards table. "How much...

Why can’t an autistic kid play billiards?

He can’t pick up cues.

Why are police officers bad at Billiards?

They hit eight ball first because it was black.

What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell from a tree and hit you?

A billiards table

Country Club Raffle

Every evening an older gentlemen would venture down to the local country club. This club had a large room in which there were several comfortable chairs, as well as a billiards table. The gentleman would enter the club, buy a cheap drink, sit in the same chair and read from his newspaper.

The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his monkey walk into a bar

A man and his monkey walk into a bar. They sit down and order a drink.

The bar tender instantly recognises the man and monkey and says "*Hey, that's the monkey that ate the 8-ball off of the billiards table!*"

The man reassures him "*Don't worry, he won't be doing it this time*". So th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder...

He orders a drink, and the monkey starts wondering around the bar, touching and sniffing all the things. Eventually it picks up a pool ball, looks at it for a bit and swallows it!

The bartender sees it and disturbingly tells the man - "your monkey just swallowed a whole billiards ball"! The m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey

He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, his pet monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps onto a billiards table and swallows a pool ball.

The bartender screams at the man, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my table--whole!"

"Sor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy walks into a bar with a monkey...

...he steps up to the bar and orders a drink. The monkey scampers over to the billiards table, picks up the 8 ball and swallows it whole. The bartender says "Hey, your monkey just swallowed the 8 ball." The guy replies "It's cool, just put it on my tab." He finishes his drink and leaves with his mon...

What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar?

Billiards and Billiards

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.